He mimics Fairy Godmother's tone. "'A romantic relationship contains exactly one man and exactly one woman, Nat, that's what romantic means.'

It's pretty bullshit but Auradonians are big on having one true love." 

"I mean, I guess you don't exactly see people in Disney movies hooking up with a fuckbuddy when their wife's out of town, but-- I dunno I guess I kind of always thought Disney With More Sex would have people have normal marriages."

"Nope! People get married to one person and then they're married to just that one person forever and you super aren't allowed to kiss anyone else once you're married or have sex with anyone you aren't married to. — people don't always do that, Asher sleeps with married people, but that's the rule." 

"What happens if one of you has a higher libido or has kinks the other one doesn't have or you just want some variety or to have a fling? I mean, we have contraception now. --I guess I don't know if Disney Planet has contraception."

"They have contraceptive spells but they're expensive because the last king made magic illegal except by order of the king, Ben ruled that contraceptive spells in particular don't need said order so the price is going down but not, like, quickly. I'm not sure why it matters all that much, though, pregnancy is super rare anyway if you aren't trying. 

Uh, you cheat on your spouse or you suffer. I think, I'm not married and don't intend to be." 

"Uh, pregnancy happens all the time if you're having unprotected sex, I think like 85% of people get pregnant within a year of having unprotected sex."

".....what? No. We didn't have contraceptive spells on the island — we didn't have magic at all on the island — and people were having sex with each other all the time and almost never got pregnant." 

"That's definitely the way things work here unless you're infertile or really old or-- malnourished-- well that's horrifying."

"....what's horrifying." He's pretty sure he already knows. 

"That girls on the Isle are routinely so malnourished they don't really menstruate and so don't have kids."

Sasha pauses, and then takes off his shirt. "I've been in Auradon for about six months now, I've gained some weight, but —" 

Asher can't see individual ribs but he can see the ridge where his ribcage ends, can see his collarbone and his hipbones. 

"And I'm not actually sure what menstruation is." 

"--I've been hanging around Xenolev enough that I don't have the impulse to immediately feed you chips and guacamole and wash it down with whole milk but let it be known the impulse was there. And menstruation is a thing that happens in my world and probably yours-- I'm guessing you don't know about it because you're gay and it seems like both Isle and Auradon sex education is pretty lacking, although if Disney Planet doesn't have any menstruation that's lucky for the princesses. If a woman's body has enough resources to have a baby the uterus prepares to have a baby once a month by growing a uterine lining and then if she doesn't get pregnant it sheds the lining by bleeding for a week through the vagina." 

"— oh, that thing. We have that, I just didn't know the word. And I'm getting enough to eat now but you're really sweet." 

"I guess if your Asher cooks he's probably feeding you enough."

"He does! He's really good at it, too." 

"Course we are."

He laughs and hugs Asher again. 

It feels basically like hugging his Asher. It's really, really nice. 

Asher laughs. 

"If you fuck any trans guys please use a contraceptive spell, it is more likely to result in babies than you think."

"I've got my gang, I don't think I'm likely to fuck anyone outside of it. But I'll make sure." 

"You never know. Maybe you'll find the local Z. --He's busy right now but he's very good."

"I know him, he's still on the Isle but Ben is working on getting everyone out. And he's not a trans guy anyway." 

"Well, of the people who might be a trans guy... I wonder if you have a Laser T. Rex Universe."

"A who?" 

"He is-- well, it's complicated, but he is physically five and he was allowed to name himself."

"That's fair. I don't think I know one but it's possible mine named himself something different."