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Jul 23, 2019 8:50 PM
lev and sasha pile
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Let's do this one last time.

My name is Lev Aarons, and I'm a mutant. I can find patterns in information, which it turns out is a way more useful power than it sounds like.

If my parents found out I was gay, they'd disown me, and if my parents found out I was a mutant, they'd kill me. So I spent a long time faking anorexia in order to seem like the perfect child. Then I almost died, Spider-man saved my life, and I realized if I kept it up I'd die without ever having really gotten to live. Naturally I started a Spider-Man fansite and somehow we wound up dating. He helped me run away from home, and now I live with a billionaire superhero and use my power to help him optimize the world.

A few months back, Sasha almost died, and then came back to life because it turns out his friend is dating Death. I'm still not over it, but mostly I'm pretty okay.

And then one night I woke up by being kidnapped...

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This plan is going to work brilliantly. Even if none of the alternate universe Levs have Lev's powers, they can still be used to reverse-engineer other worlds' technologies or even introduce entirely new superpowers. Liv is very pleased with it. 

She brings him to the lab and puts him in a swivel chair before she wakes him up. 

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Power, on. He'll make Asher take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet once Sasha rescues him.

"This is the second time in my life I've been kidnapped and I don't like it much better than I liked the first time."

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"Oh, don't worry, you aren't supposed to," Liv assures him. The machine she's working at has a truly ridiculous number of buttons in a truly ridiculous number of colors and light levels. "But it won't hurt a bit and there's almost no risk of your untimely death." 

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"I feel very reassured. --You realize I'm dating Spider-man, right? There are so many better people to kidnap." 

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"But nobody else in the world has your powers!" Liv says brightly. "Or at least nobody else near our research facility, and grants to search for mutants in China are much harder to come by." 

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Fuck. 

"My powers are boring. I solve math problems."

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She's smiling. "Don't lie, Lev — your name is Lev, isn't it? I'm so bad with names — I know what your powers are. And you could do the world a lot of good with them. It's almost like a moral obligation, if you think about it." Heroes love moral obligations. Liv's fingers fly over the keyboard as she talks, and a whirring sound starts from behind Lev's head. 

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"Math is not that important. And even if it did I'm not really a do-gooding sort of person. More like a do-mathing sort of person."

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She laughs like that's the funniest joke she's ever heard and pushes one final large green button — 

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— and the window breaks as a figure dressed in black and red breaks through it — 

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— and the whole room goes bright green. 

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Lev blinks.

"What was that?"

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"No idea," Sasha says, and grabs him and gets the hell out of Dodge, office chair and all. He'll cut him out of the chair once they aren't in this office anymore. 

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"I'm getting pretty tired of being kidnapped."

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"Pretty reasonable thing to get tired of," Sasha says, and gets him out of the chair by means of breaking the chair. "Let's get home?" 

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"Yeah. Unfortunately I didn't get enough to know what the machine is for. --Also, I'm really hungry, can we stop by a buffet."

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"Course we can." 

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"I think she knows my power is incredibly useful."

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"...that's. An issue. Did she say anything else about it?" 

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"Just that I could do the world a lot of good with them. Wait, let me check." He pauses. "She knows." He pauses for a bit longer. "Kingpin probably also knows."

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"....fuck." 

At least there are buffets. And sweatshirts and sweatpants to wear over your suit so nobody looks twice at you. 

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Lev gets a tray and fills up six plates until they're overflowing.

"Maybe we can get Asher to implant a tracker under my skin."

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"Probably we can — I'll ask him in the morning, you can sleep —" 

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"Okay," he says, and devours his six plates of food, and then falls asleep in Sasha's arms as Sasha is carrying him back.

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Sasha puts him in his bed and cuddles him until he falls asleep too. 

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