Lev sits on his desk. 

"You have no idea how lucky you are."

"The hobby of the dictator of Latveria is dressing up in armor and smashing parking meters into cars while shouting 'curse you, Reed Richards! DOOM WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE!'"

"Has anyone ever told you this universe is extremely weird."

"I have never met anyone from another universe and yet somehow I am not surprised."

"Okay, so, a Gileadite is a sect of Christianity. They became really popular after the fertility crisis because they decided that it was a religious obligation to--"

"Fertility crisis?"

"Yeah, the thing where we pumped a ton of bitoxiphosphene into the air and now most women can't have babies, or miscarry, or the babies are born with horrible disabilities and then die?"

"Not a thing."

"Well, that explains why you don't have Gileadites. --If someone tries to put bitoxiphosphene into the atmosphere, don't do it."

"Noted."

"Anyway, Gileadites are sexist homophobic assholes, and then in 2020 they did a coup and turned the United States government into a theocracy."

"Are you okay?"

"Don't worry, I'm Cascadian. --Uh, NorCal, Oregon, Washington, and complicatedly Hawaii seceded to become their own country. And we're not homophobic or sexist or ageist or any of that bullshit."

"I'm glad, I'm not sure how I'd respond to being part of a Christian theocracy."

"Gilead is okay on Jews, for values of 'okay' that mean that they make us all be ultra-Orthodox."

"Ouch."

"Before we talk more about my home dimension's geopolitics-- the people who are on fire? What the fuck?"

"So, there's a gene called the X-Gene, and when it's active you have superpowers. Like, some mutants have healing powers, or telekinesis, or telepathy, or the ability to shapeshift--"

"WHAT."

He spreads his hands. "I don't know what to tell you."

"THAT IS NOT HOW GENETICS WORKS."

"Everyone in this world is confused too."

"HOW DO YOU HAVE A PROTEIN THAT CODES FOR THE ABILITY TO HEAL AND ALSO FOR SHAPESHIFTING. HOW IS SHAPESHIFTING EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE."

"Physics in our world is kind of bullshit?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."