Aug 25, 2019 8:46 PM
pyramid scheme victim imrainai meets sunnyverse celegorm in milliways
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She's gonna be late. She hates this, hates risking the job she just got, because yeah, maybe she hates the job, too, but she has to bring in money somehow, even without the vampire debt collectors that are apparently going to be part of the equation now. Cashiering is better than some things. At least you get a paycheck of any kind at the end of the month. She pulls on her clothes, tries brushing her hair for three seconds before realizing that she doesn't have time, pulls the tangled mess back into a ponytail, yells to her cousin that the kitchen sink is broken and that if she needs water for cooking she can get it from the bathroom, tugs on her sneakers, and blearily heads out the door.

She's... in a bar. Where the hallway to the rest of the world is supposed to be.

Definite magic nonsense. Possibly kidnapping magic nonsense? She's really unclear on why anyone would want to kidnap her, but - well. She clutches her purse tighter and tentatively looks around.

 

"Hello?"

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Stars explode confusingly out the window.

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Well that's terrifying. 

She - should leave the bar if it's a kidnapping plot because being kidnapped by magicians is bad, but on the other hand anyone who can cause a magic bar to appear outside her house is probably so enormously powerful that it makes more sense to roll diplomacy against them instead of escape artist, and ack she's gonna be late for work, and if this had happened five years ago she'd've thought that was a stupid thing to worry about, but it's happening now and she actually really needs to be able to hold down a real job where she really gets paid.

She's so tired.

 

She sits down on one of the barstools and waits rather miserably to see what this is all about.

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Hello, reads a spontaneously appearing folded white cocktail napkin, welcome to Milliways. First drink is free, can I get you anything?

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- Mom always said not to accept opened drinks from people you don't know very well, even if there isn't any alcohol in it, and she's not sure whether the same applies to magical kidnapping bars but she figures she should err on the safe side. 

"Not right now. Thanks. Do you know what I'm doing here?"

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Occasionally, via a process I am not privy to, the door to this establishment subsumes an ordinary door. When you leave, if you allow the door to close behind you, it will tend to resume being the door it normally is instead of a Milliways door. In general patrons find that time is paused in their worlds while they are here.

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"Huh."

She glances over at the closed door.

She really shouldn't trust strange magical kidnapping bars, but it would be such a weird lie that she doesn't really know that she thinks it is one. Of course, people have told her a lot of enormous lies in the last while, so, you know, maybe that's just a thing that people do. And if people do it, maybe magical kidnapping bars do, too.

On the other hand, she is demonstrably not going to work today either way. 

"...what kind of drinks do you have, exactly?"

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I can serve virtually any drink from any universe! The exceptions are that with a few exceptions I cannot provide any item that is alive, magical, larger than this room or microscopic, or a weapon, and some drinks have one or more of these characteristics. I can still do yogurt even though it is alive.

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- if it's legit then she should probably be trying to get as much as she possibly can out of this, but if it doesn't serve magical items then there's probably a limit to how great a drink can be. Unless there are universes with drinks that have nanobots in them that make you a superpowered cyborg, or something, she could go for being a superpowered cyborg, except for the part where this is a terrible idea and she should probably have learned her lesson by now about trying to get more out of things than she really should.

Also, she's been living off of pretty much macaroni and cereal and rice and PB&J and milk for, like, weeks.

 

"Can you do, like, a really big banana strawberry milkshake, with little strawberry bits and whipped cream and like six cherries? The dessert kind, not the nutrition kind."

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Of course!

Here is nearly half a gallon of milkshake, made to order, with a little umbrella in it and a thick straw.

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"Awww. Thank you."

She sips her milkshake.

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He hasn't talked to a human in three years. 


He doesn't totally endorse everything about how he is handling this but he endorses that. Anyway if he were more willing to interact with humans he'd probably be drunk all the time and that probably wouldn't be great. Unlike this, which is great. He wanders around the wilderness walking and killing things and occasionally sleeping. 

He's paying very little attention to his surroundings so when he notices that the trees are implausible for Alaska he isn't sure how long this has been true. But these trees sure are implausible for Alaska. And that's a building in the distance. And the air smells funny.

Probably he's been pulled into a different dimension. That is the sort of thing that just happens sometimes.

He climbs the nearest tree and tries to eavesdrop on the building. 

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Karen is very much enjoying her milkshake. It almost makes up for the probably losing her job.

"So are there a lot of universes?"

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Oh yes.

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"What're they all like?"

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- he jumps down from the tree. 

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I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific.

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"Well I dunno, I just didn't know there were any others. Can you, like, describe one of them?"

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He opens the door. 

 

He is really tall, unhealthily thin, with elaborately braided blond hair coiled up on his head. He's wearing bear fur.

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"Karen!"

He bounds across the room towards her.

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She makes a very undignified squeaking sound and half-falls off her chair in an attempt to step away from the random interdimensional visitor.

(She immediately feels very sad about having abandoned her milkshake.)

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" - sorry." He doesn't look very sorry, he still looks incredibly happy. "Let me guess, you don't remember anything and have no idea who I am."

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" - I remember some things?" she says, uncertainly. "None of them have to do with you so much."

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"Okay." He takes a step back. "Okay, that's fine. - how are you doing?"

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"Not great?"

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Nod. "What is this place?"

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