Apr 19, 2019 8:19 AM
pyramid scheme victim imrainai meets sunnyverse celegorm in milliways
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"I, uh, I don't really know but it says it's called Milliways and that people from lots of different worlds come through here and that time is stopped while they are, and I don't know how much of that is true but it gave me a really nice milkshake so I'm having just a little trouble keeping up my default level of paranoid skepticism." 

She tentatively moves to recover her milkshake.

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He doesn't stop her but he looks very suspiciously at the milkshake.


"Connor's safe, Azalea's safe. They moved out of Sunnydale after you died and they're - not really talking to me, understandably, but they're okay."

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She looks.... very unsure what to do with this information.

 

 

"Azalea's dead," she says, eventually.

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" - I am pretty sure that is not the case."

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"OK, well, I am pretty sure I attended the funeral and have been taking care of her kids for two years, so."

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"So, uh, the way I remember it you have been dead for four years."

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"What happened to me?"

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"Uh, a lot of stuff. You, uh, got sucked into a alternate history through a spell backlash and you sacrificed your baby to win a war with a god and then you were murdered."

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"Wow. OK. So. None of that has ever happened to me."

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"Great! That's good."

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"I guess? Or - being murdered sounds bad. I guess. I am trying to avoid that thing."

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"Well, I obviously can't credibly assert that there's nothing that can get through the two of us but there isn't much."

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There is a long, visibly confused pause.

" - the two of us?"

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" - yeah? Uh, we worked together. Before you died."

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"I just don't feel like - if I were going to pick someone to keep me from getting murdered I wouldn't really pick, uh, me."

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"Oh, uh, are you not - do you get prophetic dreams and are you mysteriously way stronger than a normal human?"

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"Uh, no, I am pretty sure that's not - no."

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"Huh. Okay. I think you are from an alternate universe where you are not the destined vampire slayer."

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"Oh," she says, hollowly. "OK."

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"I'm so sorry about Azalea."

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"It's OK," she says, even though it isn't. "M'sorry about your Karen. She sounds cool."

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"She's great. So who's trying to kill you?"

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She stirs her shake. 

"I mean they probably don't want me dead, you can't really extract money from a corpse. Just, if you don't have any money the corpse is worth more than nothing. Least if you hire vampires."

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"There're vampires after you for money?"

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"Yeah. Well, the guy's not a vampire, I don't think, he just has some."

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