"...what was I saying... right.

"Okay. So. Um. I, I was talking about... Okay. Um.

"One of the things is that—Woo-young was really angry. Really, really angry, with him, five years ago. And I wasn't, I was—hurt and. Um." weak sad pathetic contemptible "And—the thing he said earlier. I think he was right. I, I think I might need to yell at him about it. I couldn't think about—everything—and if I even tried it felt like—I was making excuses. For him. Or, or, or trying to, to make it not as bad. I don't know. Because I didn't know how bad it was and I, I still don't, I think. It's all a mess in my head. But he was so, so angry, and I'm not, and—and it was hard. And scary." Because he's weak and sad and pathetic and contemptible. "To try to think about it. And engage with it. And so now I'm having to learn it again. And so I—it's not that I don't trust your reasoning, Hye-jin-ah, it's that I can't reason about it and I, I need to, to do it from scratch. From the ground up. I need to do all of the reasoning by hand, step by step, and I need to—check your answers—fuck that just sounds like I don't trust you but—it terrifies me." Because he's weak and sad and pathetic and contemptible.

He giggle-hiccups and squeezes his eyes shut, traitorous tears sliding down his cheeks. "I hate the hell iPhone. I hate it so much." He hates how, how effective that stupid one-time joke Woo-young made once has managed to, to, to make him able to deal with it so much better. He can now go, oh, it's the autocomplete from hell, I'm just thinking the worst possible things about myself, and then he stops.

Tae-gun's not weak and sad and pathetic and contemptible. He's just human.

Oh. Oh, poor Tae-gun. Huuuuug. Such hug, and petting.

"Checking my answers is fine? I - dungeon metaphor, apparently I only know how to think in these things now - I'm not bothered if you don't agree with my tactical conclusions or want me to explain them. The problem's when... I guess it's when the hell iPhone autocompletes what looks like my logic that it - hurts. Because my hell iPhone goes, 'Ah, yes, that's what he actually thinks of you and your logic,' because, um. I am also a mess. Sorry."

Another giggle-hiccup. "Yeah."

"You're both huge messes," says a teleporting Woo-young—

He doesn't screech because, one, it'd be undignified, and two, he's hugging Hye-jin, but he very definitely jumps.

"We have just established that, thank you," snorts Hye-jin, amused.

"But since I'm so nice I got you bingsu anyway," he says, offering them a bowl each with their favourite toppings.

"You're a dick."

...but he's not gonna say no to bingsu.

"Thank you, Woo-young-oppa. But yes I agree."

"It's a gift."

And he vanishes again.

Well trust Woo-young to be a dick and nevertheless make Tae-gun stop crying and feeling sorry for himself.

"I trust you, Hye-jin-ah. And I—it was scary to engage. It still is. And I, I know it doesn't justify the, the, um, but I just. I don't think you're—those things you said." ...Lee Tae-gun she literally just said that "absence of criticism isn't the same as positive regard", surely you can hold this in your working memory for three minutes. "I think you're smart, and competent, and kind, and thoughtful, and—even before I was—able to talk about this, when it was just you and Woo-young—I would've trusted whatever you decided to do."

"Oh." Yeah, she had no idea he would have trusted her whatever she decided to do. He - mostly seemed like he was trying very hard not to engage, not. Trusting her with his once-love's final fate. "Thank you. I appreciate that." She kisses his forehead. "A lot."

Well he was also trying very hard not to engage, but the only reason he felt like he could do that rather than set himself on fire and engage anyway was because he trusted her.

"So, u-um. I think that was. All. I was thinking about."

Yeah, that distinction is not clear to anyone besides him, and maybe Woo-young.

"Okay. I think we managed to cover most of my stuff over that, though I can still give you that emotional overview?"

"Yeah. I think I—no, I know I'm really bad at—that—I'm not autistic though—"

(Si-yeon can be heard cackling from the living room.)

("Sometimes I wonder if you even listen to yourself, hyung.")

("I think we have conclusively established that he does not.")

...he hates esper senses so much.

"A-anyway, I'm bad at this, so—yeah, I think it'd help."

"Okay. ... But you are absolutely autistic though." Forehead kiss. "I am too! Probably! Anyway, uh."

("I have to say thinking he's not displays sort of astonishing amounts of unselfawareness.")

Fuuuuck yooooooou.

...he likes the forehead kiss though, he'll keep that.

"Go away we're having feelings~!" calls Hye-jin in a playful singsong, before she lowers her voice to something only Tae-gun can hear.

"My emotional state... it's... ... I don't know how to explain it, like, um. Thinking something would be easier to handle than it actually turned out to be, or that - thinking this shit wouldn't affect my life as much as it does, but. It did. It. Just. Turned out to affect basically every single facet of my life, was sitting in the back of my mind every single moment, and, I. I was the only one coming up with ideas." Shrug. "And turns out I wasn't enough, see: how I got shot in the head. So. Current emotional state is 'all of the suffering I did amounted to absolutely nothing, and now I'm being asked to do it some more and I'm trying but I really can't.'"