Jun 26, 2019 3:57 PM
this just happens all the time I'm sorry
Permalink

Why are they summoning demons in this Sunnydale frat house? 

It depends who you ask; Zach says that Tyler dared him and Tyler says that Alex is the one who had a book on demon summoning on his bookshelf and Alex says that his girlfriend gave him the book and Tyler's the one who was gullible enough to read it and get freaked out by it and wanted to make sure it wasn't real and didn't have the guts to do it himself. 

It's also been storming all week, hard enough to cancel football practice, and probably in a deeper sense that's the real reason.

 

Anyway Zach summons a demon in the frat house, unaware that this is the fourth time this year that someone has done that.

Total: 596
Posts Per Page:
Permalink

A demon appears in the frat house. "...hi there. What, uh, what can I do for you?" He glances around, tail swishing, takes in the pizza boxes and the bedding and the... vintage TV.

Permalink

"Shit," says Zach.

"Shit," says Tyler. 

They stare at each other in bewildered panic for a second and then Zach gets up and puts a sock on the door and closes it. 

     "- uh -" says Tyler.

"Landlord said we were out if any more funny shit happened," Zach says, "so let's not have the whole town over to look at it, right?

     "You can't evict people for funny shit happening. What're you going to do, go to court and say, your honor, they summoned a demon -"

"Are you a demon?" asks Zach.

Permalink

"Yes? What does it say in the circle, dude? - okay, this is in Latin, but still, wings, tail, appears in circles?"

Permalink

"....that's fair," says Zach, blinking rapidly. "I thought the book was a joke. Demons don't exist."

Permalink

 

"Lemme guess, that TV is not more than a few years old?"

Permalink

They both turn to look at the TV. "Uh, yeah," Tyler says. "Are demons picky about TV?"

Permalink

"No, apparently demons are from the future. Demon singular is from the future, rather. It's very exciting."

Permalink

They both continue to seem just a little bit weirdly nonplussed about discovering that demons exist and that this demon is from the future. 

"I"m sorry for summoning you from the future," Zach says uncertainly. "Please don't board all the doors and fling snakes at everyone, our lease is a bit precarious."

Permalink

"I don't really see why I'd find that entertaining, honestly."

Permalink

"Oh good."

"What do you find entertaining?" says Tyler.

Permalink

"Uh. Eradicating malaria? Eh, I guess that's not so much recreational. Terraforming Mars! I want to terraform Mars."

Permalink

They blink at each other. 

"I guess that doesn't affect the lease," says Zach.

Permalink

"I'd be really surprised if it did. However, the circle currently doesn't allow me to do either of those things."

Permalink

They both look at the Latin. "We should maybe get someone in here who has any idea what the fuck they're doing," says Tyler.

"Who's that going to be?" says Zach. 

"....dunno. Ryan? Seems like a guy who has any idea what the fuck he's doing. And he was the one who didn't buy the explanation about gangs on PCP with barbecue forks -"

     "Oh, yeah. You know, in hindsight that was pretty fishy."

"Drugs'll fuck you up. Do you want to go get him?"

      "You should. I'm the one who summoned the demon." 

"Does that matter?"

      "The book said so."

Permalink

"Gangs on PCP with barbecue forks?"

Permalink

"This town is weird, man," says Zach.

         "I have a friend at UC Davis and he said they hadn't had a single murder that he knew of."

"Isn't UC Davis smaller, though?"

         "Nah, it's twice the size."

Permalink

"...what does Ryan think is the real explanation for, uh, the murders?"

Permalink

"don't know."

"I mean," says Tyler, "the obvious theory here is....demons, yes? It turns out there are secretly demons, and also that there's a government coverup of some kind, probably the government coverup is of the demons?"

Permalink

"I don't think there's any good reason for a demon serial killer to make anything look like it was the responsibility of gangs on PCP. With barbecue forks. It's just... really specific to even be a binding loophole."

Permalink

"I'm just saying that, like, it's weird for there to be secret demons and a government coverup of something else," Tyler says.

"The boarding up the house and filling it with snakes, does that one sound to you like a demon?" asks Zach.

Permalink

"It sounds like something a demon could do if they had very specific tastes in horror movies?"

Permalink

"How about the walls starting to scream and beg us to break them down? And then oozing blood?"

"That was a separate incident," says Tyler helpfully.

Permalink

"The screaming would require speakers somewhere, oozing blood's straightforward. You are getting a really unlucky crop of demons, huh, are people summoning off the horror reenactment enthusiast mailing list's membership roll?"

Permalink

"Where'd you get the book from again?" asked Zach.

       "From Alex. He said his girlfriend gave it to him."

"Betsy?" 

        "Nah, they broke up ages ago."

"Who's he seeing now?"

         "I don't know."

"I'm really unclear on what demons can do."

Permalink

"Make stuff," says Cam.

Total: 596
Posts Per Page: