this just happens all the time I'm sorry
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"I don't have a phone."

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"Okay, well, fun fact, if you write something and then stick 'letter to Cam' on it, I'll see it next time I check my mail by magic. It's very cool. Do you go in for any evil besides eating people?" He makes some stuff and puts a blood sample in it; the stuff goes beep. "Hmmm, I don't want this to trigger if you just bite your tongue..."

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"I rob liquor stores. Sometimes I hang peoples' cats from trees with shoelaces."

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"Why liquor stores in particular?"

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"They're really satisfying to smash up! And I drink a lot."

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"You can still get drunk?"

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"It's a bit more work, but yeah."

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"Welp. I don't think I'm going to impose the death penalty for robbery or animal abuse. Also harder to detect than the presence of blood in your mouth. Good news, vampire blood is different in a detectable way!" He works on his program some more.

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" - so it's cool if I go rob a liquor store now? Want anything?"

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"I don't drink, thanks. I have to install all this shit, hold still." Little detonator full of wood shrapnel by the heart. Tracker here and there and there and there. Diagnostic thingy in mouth - "Is that comfy enough if you yawn?"

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She yawns. "Fine I guess."

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"Software propagating, and... congratulations, you're rigged to blow, but not intensely enough to suicide-bomb anyone, now show me where to put a place you can safely eat shelf blood?"

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She rolls her eyes and finds a nook in the sewers. "If anyone else takes up here I'll fight them for it."

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"I am hoping to be able to send multiple vampires here if I catch any more," he remarks. "Can you cope with that?"

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"Depends what they're like I guess."

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"I guess I can make several depositories." The nook acquires a nice layer of tile and shelves of sealed blood by the pint. "I'm adding some more features I'm not going to tell you about in detail to prevent dragging live prey down here to chew on from working. You can come here, you can grab a pint, you can eat it while you're here, wait till you've swallowed it all to leave."

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"Really seems like there's gonna be better things to do with your time, man, but okay."

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"It's possible I should have just killed you but I've never killed anyone before and want to make really sure I have a good reason before I ever do."

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"You're really bad at this evil thing."

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"Oh good," he says. "Have a nice unlife, Talon." He heads back the way they came, up out of the tunnel.

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No one else is stalking the streets this fine night. Or out for more innocent reasons, either.

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He hangs out by the library trying to patch into their wifi with a series of backwards-compatibility gadgets only to discover that, in fact, they do not have wifi. He sighs and waits for it to open.

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It opens at 8. Once the sun goes up there are dogwalkers and commuters and Sunnydale seems more like a normal city. 

 

It's a nice library. Sunnydale doesn't seem to have any homeless people so it's all students and parents and businesspeople.

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And it does have wired Internet, though it's abombinably slow. He gets online and starts looking for stuff about vampires and demons.

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The usual mix of nonsense that you'd expect when searching on the internet for vampires and demons. Maybe some of it isn't nonsense but it's not obviously not nonsense. There's probably more of it than there would have been in a 1998 internet search in his world.

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