"Yes, I'll die of that. Yes, I'm hungry."

"Cool. Short of 'on the hoof' in what variety and form do you prefer your blood?"

" - human? Human temperature? Where're you getting it-"

"You don't specifically prefer college-aged white males who have recently eaten sandwiches or anything like that, just human at ninety eight point six?"

"Race doesn't affect the flavor. Some people will tell you it does, but they're lying. Now, vegan girl, that'll affect the flavor. - I don't really care."

Cam hands her a thermos. It contains non-vegan-girl A-negative blood and just in case there is weird nonmetabolic stuff going on it doesn't have any nuclei in it making it belong to anybody in particular. "Here you go. Let me know if you want a refill, I don't know if you usually go for Red Cross amounts or slasher film."

She drinks the thermos. "This is fine for now. So you're recruiting?"

"Is that typical?"

"Something big and bad is lounging around, doesn't kill me, offers presents - yeah, that's usually what's up."

"Huh. I don't know what has you thinking I'm bad."

"Well, you didn't kill me."

"Am I supposed to?"

"No! But good guys kill vampires, right, it's like what they do. Because we're evil."

"Are you? Why's that?"

" - I don't know, man. It's like, I woke up, clawed my way out of my grave, and I was like, woah, hey, guess I'm evil! I'll eat people and rob liquor stores!"

"Was that as disorienting as it sounds?"

"Pretty fucking weird. You're like, hey, is this the afterlife, nah wait I recognize that gas station - guess I'm glad they didn't cremate me, haha -"

"So you have continuity of experience with your human self and you like being - undead, is that the term?"

The vampire looks a little uncertain she caught all those words. "Yep, it's great."

"Do you have a preferred shaded area in which we can continue this discussion, by the by?"

"There're tunnels under the graveyards. It's how everyone gets around."

"Exciting. Are we liable to be interrupted?"

"Nah. The good guys have killed almost everyone, you gotta be real careful these days. The tunnels are so empty you can sing karaoke all day and no one tells you to keep it down."

"Who are the good guys?"

"Haven't met them or I'd be dead, wouldn't I? There's supposed to be a vampire slayer."