SHe'd almost looked forward to the nonsexual intimacy stage, when he'd thought he'd be able to do it with Asher.
He does his best to hide how miserable he is.
Christine notes down "sense of control."
The chart Christine creates does not contain the word "homosexuality" and does mostly contain things Alexander agrees with at least a little.
And on Sunday Alexander has his one-on-one.
"Have you thought more about the issue of names?"
"I have a list of things that are not girl's names in English that work for me!"
She hands Christine the piece of paper; the list is Minnow, Rain, Ghost, Phoenix, Millay, Aiko, Lynx. She's a little dubious about Phoenix and Rain is of course a pipe dream, and none of them are boy's names, but hey, it's visibly putting effort into a compromise. And none of them are Alexander.
"I'm so glad you decided to compromise! Would you be all right with Ghost?"
"My favorite is Minnow but I would not have included Ghost if I wasn't okay with it."
"Excellent, Ghost!" She shuffles papers. "So, perhaps we should talk more about your relationship with Lev."
"You said in a previous session that you're finding your relationship with him very helpful."
"Yeah. Eating because I felt like probably I should didn't work and eating because there'd be consequences if I didn't didn't work but it turns out that eating because my friend is right there worrying about me totally does."
'It sounds like you're progressing well in developing nonsexual intimacy with other men."
"It does seem that way." Never mind the event that precipitated this friendship.
"I'm sure we can all agree," she says mildly, "that it would be unfortunate if I had to tell Lev's parents that he is homosexually active."
"That would indeed be unfortunate." She wasn't going to have sex with him anyway, she's slutty, not stupid. She does not say this.
"You are conflicted about your recovery, but Lev is committed to his. What do you think about that?"
"I think Lev's personal history and mine are very different. Unless I've misinterpreted the question, which I might have."
"Many homosexuals have conflicted feelings when their former sexual partners decide to try to pursue heterosexuality."
She shrugs. "I like kissing him and will miss doing it but it's really not my place to make that decision for him and I'm doing what I can to help. He's getting a lot better at metalworking."
It was pretty obvious that you already knew, she doesn't say.
"I'm trying to act in good faith."
"I'm glad. --Do you think it will help Lev in his recovery if his closest friend continues to be a gender-confused homosexual?"
"...I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that Marlo is gender-confused."
I think I'm actively helping, actually, if I'm a girl then he has ever been attracted to a girl in his life.
"Then I think he doesn't get to make that decision for me, just like I don't get to make that decision for him."
Christine continues her Sisyphean task of convincing Ghost that being straight is better than being gay.