"I don't mind it, it'll at least be easy." 

"Yeah, it's just. I'm Jewish."

"Is there a reason you can't list your own God?" 

His voice is open, honestly curious. 

"The things Christine was talking about were-- really, really Christian? You can't just take evangelical Protestantism and then ctrl+F to replace 'Jesus' with 'your Higher Power' and get something I'm comfortable doing."

"That makes sense. I'm sorry." 

"Searching and fearless moral inventories are just... not really what God wants me to do, actually."

"I'm going to have to either make something up or write down something really weird, I'm religiously complicated and the thing where this camp thinks Protestantism in a weird hat is secular is really not helping." 

"I'm going to declare my higher power to be a doorknob."

Marlo makes a face at the idea of submitting to the higher power of a doorknob. "If it's what works for you."

"Aren't you Jewish?" Lev says to Sasha.

He shrugs. "In theory. I had a bar mitzvah because not having one would have meant a three-year fight with my parents and I know most of the prayers and I think the Song of Songs is gorgeous, I go to a seder every Passover and we do a Shabbat dinner when my parents are both home on Friday night, but I'm not particularly observant and turns out that when you spend your Saturday evenings learning a pagan ritual in secret you get kind of sincere about it even if it was originally for drama class.

And my school still hasn't unbanned the Bacchae, so I'll probably be spending next year sneaking out to a field to teach the freshmen." 

"You're really not supposed to do pagan rituals! The entire Tanakh is about this!"

"Does it help to think of it as being basically like cheerleading for drama kids? I'm pretty sure I'm going to put Dionysus as my higher power but I'm like seventy-five percent joking." 

"I am pretty sure you are not supposed to do pagan rituals even if you are joking!"

He shrugs again. "Then I'm not Jewish, I just sometimes do Jewish things because my parents want me to and it's not worth the fight." 

"That's not how it works! You don't stop being Jewish when you do pagan rituals, you're just a Jew who's really bad at it."

"If it's something I didn't choose and can't opt out of I don't care that much about finding a way to be within the rules, so looks like I'm a Jew who does pagan rituals and half-believes in Dionysus, then." 

"And I'm a Jew that worships doorknobs!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, my dad."

"I am almost one hundred percent sure you don't actually worship doorknobs." 

"Nope, I'm going to pick the bathroom doorknob as my Higher Power, and I am going to do what it wills of me, which I think is that it gets locked regularly."

"I'm just glad we're all in agreement about the doorknob thing being stupid." 

Lev is also pretty unhappy about Asher worshipping a doorknob, but he recognizes that this is objectively speaking very silly.

"Seriously, though, I have to make up some kind of Higher Power that doesn't want me to have gay sex." He grabs a tree branch and swings from it. "Maybe dance doesn't want me to be gay, because that's taking time and energy away from dancing."