"I haven't had food before. I eat a nutritionally complete slurry that's piped directly into my digestive system."

Z makes an inhuman, heartbroken squeaking noise.

Laser snuggles up to him and watches the cartoons.

...then he’ll watch too.

And he’ll make a list in his head of everything he needs to somehow get for this poor kid. Burritos. More cartoons. Those little ice cream spheres with a name way too trademarked to speak.

He texts

I love you

I lvoe you 

more than the sun more than the moon more than anything 

to Lev, and 

I don't know 

I'm letting you tell Lev what happened, I don't think I can do it in a way that'd be 

fair 

but I don't know 

to Asher, and says, "I never really got why people talked about fault before," to Marlo. 

He adjusts the arm around Sasha's shoulders, listens. 

"It just — didn't seem that important? If I have to walk through a field of landmines, I have to be the same amount of careful whether it's my fault that there are landmines there or not. 

But. I think I get it now." 

I also love you more than the sun or the moon or anything but I'm not sure that I actually love the moon that much

is the moon important

I mean tides but is something bad going to happen if it goes away

--I'm going to go look this up

Asher doesn't respond but he is achingly, achingly grateful that Sasha is willing to talk to him at all.

tides do a lot! 

but mostly I just read too much poetry and it seemed like the thing to say 

I love you so much and you read exactly the right amount of poetry 

<3

my life would suck so much without you

I'm so glad I can keep you safe 

I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you safe

Lev this is not your fault on so many levels I don't know where to start 

why can't I hug you. physical distance is a travesty 

I'll be home in a few hours and then I'm going to hug you so much 

I can still be sorry I didn't keep you safe even

I miss you

come home and snuggle me

And to Asher:

sasha said you could explain to me what happened

I murdered him

well, I said a bunch of horrible lies about him and then I murdered him

I'm going to I promise 

I miss you too

I love you 

um I don't want to bother you with things because you've already had the worst day possible

but

asher's explanation of what happened was really not very reassuring

at all

...what did he tell you 

uh he said he said a bunch of horrible lies to you and then murdered you

...did he tell you that we had all been hate-rayed first and none of the precautions we took helped at all 

because that's kind of relevant 

no he did not say that!!!!!!

well, we had been 

and — it started with him and marlo yelling at each other

and I said to shut the fuck up and he told me he didn't have to do things just because I asked, and he said my first name out loud and i said what the fuck and he said he didnt care about whether i was safe and i was stupid to trust him, and i needled him about you, and 

you know the rest 

I feel like this was not a particularly good way to summarize the situation! 

especially to someone who lives in his house and who he could definitely murder!

but on the other hand it sounds like he has also had the worst day

he has 

and I don't know how long it'll take me to feel comfortable around him again but

it's not his fault