"Not that I can think of? And nothing I can't text you to ask about." 

“You all distracted? Mission accomplished? Do you need me to buy you a margarita?”

"Mission accomplished — Once I get home I'll probably manage to undistract myself but at that point I have," don't say parents, "people to hug. A margarita would not help." 

“Well, you ever need one, you’ve got my number.”

Deadpool kind of wants a hug now. Deadpool can keep this tidbit to himself.

“You can swing on home if you want. I got this.”

"Kay. Thank you again, for everything."

“Are you kidding? I definitely got the sweet end of this deal. Met Spiderman, got a head...”

Spiderman. Spider-man? God dammit.

"Still!" 

He swings halfway home, then finds where he'd hidden his clothes, changes, takes the subway the rest of the way back, and hugs his parents. 

When Sasha gets around to checking his phone, he'll discover fansite guy has sent him a message.

kingpin's up to something big, don't know what, tell you when I know more

And so has Asher.

I have your number now

I can use it for nefarious schemes

wait you do have a starkphone right I'm not texting some piece of shit hammerphone

He texts 

thank you 

to the fansite owner, and 

I have a starkphone yes 

to Asher. 

no problem

good because otherwise I would have to get you a starkphone and that might be hard for you to cover up

"yes this is a present from my friend asher stark, we met when I was yachting"

if I said literally exactly that but really sarcastically, probably nobody would question it 

if hypothetically I was going to be worried about a nefarious scheme, what kind of nefarious scheme should I be worried about 

...from you obv I know what kinds of nefarious schemes to actually be worried about 

sometimes it's 2 am and I've been spending the last twelve hours building something nifty and then I climb on top of stark tower and have deep thoughts about life and feel the impulse to text them to people

also when I was a kid I used to sneak out and fix people's cars but I don't really need your cell phone # to do that

that's adorable what 

also I am happy to get 2 am texts about your deep thoughts about life although probably I won't answer them until 6 

I almost got in trouble when my parents found out but my dad actually couldn't stop laughing long enough to think of a punishment

you say that now but you haven't ever woken up to a text that's like "if you think about it isn't knocking on doors basically punching people's houses until you let them in"

the only two am texts I get are like 

flood warnings 

it'd be a nice change 

— Oh that's probably oversharing how about a joke. 

also if you're punching a house you are not knocking on doors correctly 

it's this kind of penetrating insight that makes me want to text you my deep thoughts at 2am

your friends are not late-night people, huh?

I, uh

don't so much with the "having friends" thing 

people are missing out, you're cool

Oh thank god he didn't make it too weird. 

aw 💛 thank you 

yw 💛

ungoliant I have a good feeling about you

He types

what kind of good feeling

and hits send before he can talk himself out of it. 

I think we're gonna be friends

what

were you expecting an innuendo

wasn't expecting anything in particular 

I'm glad 💛