Me too. 

"— You can call me Sasha," he says, in Russian. "If you want." 

"Hi, Sasha," he says, also in Russian. "...Not one of the rich kids of our school, I guess?"

"Not even a little bit. Guessing you aren't either?" 

"To quote my dad, 'why did you get a B on this test, do you WANT to live in apartment with rats for your entire life like your parents?'"

"We really need to be somewhere private so I can hug you." 

"...I'm not going to turn down a hug but it's really not that bad, my parents love me and want what's best for me."

"It doesn't have to be that bad for me to want to hug you over it. My apartment is this way — if you want?" 

"I do want!"

He doesn't try to take Lev's hand until they get in; his parents are, as it turns out, absent. 

Even for New York it's a tiny apartment. There's not literally zero privacy, but there's not much. 

If Sasha's parents aren't home then they can make out on the couch. 

Lev is pretty excited about this. 

They can! 

Sasha's hands go straight to Lev's hair. He's never done this before, Lev might be able to tell, but he's excited to be doing it and excited to be doing it with Lev. 

Lev has also never done this before!

He moans into Sasha's mouth when Sasha touches his hair.

Then he'll keep doing that, petting and maybe pulling a little bit so Lev's head is where he wants it to be. 

He hisses loudly when his hair is pulled. 

Lev wraps his hands around Sasha's back and pulls him close.

He keeps pulling Lev's hair — he's gentle about it, testing which parts to pull and in what directions rather than testing how hard he can pull — and with his other hand he takes one of Lev's hands and puts it on the back of his head. 

Lev pulls Sasha's hair very hesitantly.

He gasps and melts against Lev. One hand twists in Lev's hair; he clings to Lev with the other. 

Oh, that's wonderful.

Lev keeps an ear out for Sasha's parents. Sasha said they were cool, but there's "cool" and then there's "okay with their son sitting in another guy's lap moaning."

There doesn't seem to be any sign of them.

He makes little desperate noises into Lev's mouth and presses himself into Lev's chest. 

One of his hands is in Sasha's hair and the other one creeps under Sasha's shirt. 

(He vaguely recalls that he once had some intentions of going slowly but they seem really unimportant right now.)

hey i hope none of you are doing anything important

doc left manhattan a giant robot in his will

i just wanted a hot dog

I'm in uganda, sorry

— oh fuck that's Deadpool's text tone. 

"I should check this," he says, and then, "oh fuck." 

He is instantly no longer dazed and horny. 

"What happened?"

could really use some muscle down here cap

i don’t think you can shoot this and that’s like all i do