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Taliar in Evil Arda
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He's so glad. He loves being Maitimo's miracle. He is happy with all the choices he made that led him here.

Love you forever.

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I believe you more every time you say it.

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Then I guess I should keep saying it forever. Which is also how long I am going to love you.

Giggly kiss.

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Mine forever.

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Yours forever, he agrees. I've got your name on me and everything.

He still doesn't quite feel completely okay, but he's getting there.

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He'll wait.

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Taliar curls up and lets himself enjoy soothing comfortable snuggles for a while. Most of his thoughts are adrift, focused on nothing in particular, but there's a part of him paying attention to how he feels and watching to see if now is the time that the feeling of safety will come back. It seems like it might be returning gradually, a little at a time...

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A couple days; not too long, really, considering. 

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It's definitely faster than he would've expected before Maitimo came in to listen to him put himself back together. He's pretty sure that the precise trajectory of the day - making himself want Maitimo again out of necessity, then being given the right to refuse at just the moment when he was farthest from needing it - is just about the best it could possibly have gone. They really do work very well together, Maitimo and his miracle.

Dinner comes and goes. Taliar sits in Maitimo's lap and kisses him. A little nervous, a little unsettled, a little unsure of what to do with this unaccustomed freedom of choice.

It occurs to him that he could just - say no, just to see what happens, to reassure himself that it works. He rejects the idea instantly, before the thought is even fully formed. That would be utterly unworthy of him and he is absolutely not going to do it. Maitimo gave him this gift so he could spend the day getting his head straightened out without setbacks, and he will use it for its intended purpose or not at all.

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Maitimo giggles delightedly at him.

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Taliar giggles too - he isn't sure what the joke is, but Maitimo's delight is infectious. "What?"

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I love the way you think. I love how determined you are not to cheat and make this easier on yourself. I was so delighted when you were glad your soul wasn't suffering because it meant I didn't need to give you a break for strategic reasons...

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It would've been completely unfair! Kiss. Pride and integrity both - I can't try to dodge the spirit of an implicit agreement just because doing it right is hard.

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I know you don't! It's delightful!

 

Pause.

I can probably get what I need from this relationship without ever doing that to you again.

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Deep relief, deep satisfaction - he feels like he has succeeded at something incredibly difficult and worthwhile, if Maitimo really won't need that from him again, he must have handled it well enough, been interesting enough and reassuring enough, and he is definitely in no hurry to experience it a second time -

I'm glad. I love you.

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I believe you. Oh, Taliar, I believe you so.

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Taliar kisses him again.

Love you forever. You're so beautiful and amazing and brilliant and terrifying and glorious and I have no regrets at all. I want - I don't know what I want -

But it involves kissing Maitimo hungrily and then picking up his soul and putting it in Maitimo's hand.

If his determination-to-love was at low ebb last time, today the tide has definitely come in. He loves Maitimo so much, and he is going to love him forever, and it hurts right now but it's worth it, his trust was broken but he's piecing it back together, Maitimo hurt him terribly but he knew all along it was going to be okay and that's finally starting to come true. The soul-contact intimacy feels frightening and overwhelming and fulfilling and perfect and right, like leaping from the edge of a cliff and only then discovering that you have wings.

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And he cradles it and sings to Taliar even though Taliar can't hear him and smiles.

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His Taliar loves him. With all his heart and soul.

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It's kind of remarkable. He'd be pleased with himself for pulling it off but he didn't even do much.

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It's a joint accomplishment!

 

When Maitimo lets go of his soul, what Taliar turns out to want is, unsurprisingly, Maitimo. He's still a little nervous, and very aware of his permission to refuse, but he never uses it. He doesn't need to. It's okay, he's okay, they're okay.

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Awwww. 

You going to be able to go out in public without telling people about our personal life, tomorrow?

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Yeah.

Snuggle.

Do I have an excuse for vanishing for two days already or do I need to think of one?

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I suppose the healing aura makes it implausible you got sick.

 

They won't guess far off if you just demur.

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I suppose I could just tell them I thought about an unpleasant moment from the war in Atialemain and then didn't want to see or speak to another person for two days straight. From the right angle it's even almost true.

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