I have a crush on demon cam not the kind where you kiss them the kind where you torture them
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He renders this very carefully, adding some flourishes to his penmanship as he gets more confident with the letters but not so much so the letter is visibly unbalanced. "How do I send it?"

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YOU HAVE

THEY CHECK THE MAIL LABEL HEREBY ADDRESSED TO THE SOCIETY OF THE LAMPLIT GROVE

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I KNOW RIGHT

THE SOCIETY PUBLISHES A CUTE LITTLE MAGAZINE AND I THINK LETS TRY TO DESIGN ELF SUMMONING CIRCLES IS THE SORT OF THING THEYD LIKE TO PUT AS A FEATURE

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"I expect the volunteers will all be delighted if it works."

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YOU SHOULD ADD SOME SO THEY GET THE LIST

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He attaches a long list of names, written in gloriously swoopy characters with transliterations.

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TA DA

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"If it worked it'd be quite something."

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ITS NOT GONNA YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF THAT BUT YEAH

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"We're not expecting it." Sigh. "We really don't expect good things much."

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I HAVE NOTICED THIS SOMEHOW ALREADY DESPITE OUR SHORT ACQUAINTANCE

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"It's only because you haven't been talking to my brother, he's a fountain of sunshine."

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THIS IS THE ONE WHOSE HOBBY IS BEING ABOUT TO DIE RIGHT

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"Yep. He's a really good liar, I only found out about the hobby because our computing usage would suddenly spike during idle periods and I was trying to figure out why."

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WHAT A CUTE STORY THAT WOULD BE IF IT WERENT SO VERY UNCUTE

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"It sounds like you could probably give him a body. He's thinking about whether this is a good idea."

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WOULD HE FIND IT ENTERTAINING TO TRY MORE KINDS OF SUICIDE

THERE ARE PROBABLY BETTER USES OF JIMS GOODWILL EVEN IF WE RUN OUT OF MORE USEFUL THINGS FOR ME TO DO

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"Yeah, I think he probably shouldn't get a body if he's not going to be able to handle keeping it alive."

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WHATS IT USEFUL FOR

I MEAN I USE MINE FOR STUFF BUT WHAT LITTLE I KNOW OF HIM DOES NOT SUGGEST HE WOULD FIND IT PARTICULARLY FUN

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He doesn't answer for a second, then makes a face.

"I don't know."

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GOTCHA

DONT YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BODILESS CHIPS HANDY FOR PROOF OF CONCEPT

I GUESS IF SOMETHING MIGHT GO HORRIBLY WRONG TESTING ON A CONVENIENTLY DUPLICABLE SUICIDAL PERSON IS ONE WAY TO HANDLE THAT

BUT THERES NOTHING OBVIOUS THAT WOULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG

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"There are salvaged chips of people who'd probably want to be alive, I expect we can find one whose relatives think they'd agree to be a test subject."

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THERE YOU GO

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"I hope we don't run out of Jim's goodwill too soon."

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