"Okay, that's still not proof but it's better than nothing, why would it not be safe for me to see you."

"… Vampirism."

Does that cover it? That probably covers it.

"You do know that makes me less likely to believe you, right?"

"You do realize I literally died yesterday, right?"

"Yes, so guess which hypothesis becomes more likely instead?"

"That I'm some random psycho who broke into Theo's home and decided to call you on his phone as a prank? Yeah, I know. Meanwhile, while you're – justly – doubting what I say, I've just read your letter – which doesn't really remove the 'random psycho who broke into Theo's home' thing but reduces the 'random person just randomly calling you as a prank' thing, and I've got to say it's nice that you were mourning me because at least someone was except you probably shouldn't be because: first of all, still kinda alive, second of all, am talking to you literally right now, and third of all, am a vampire and probably not deserving."

"I'm not the only one, you got a memorial and stuff. I just, it didn't feel right to leave anything meaningful there and not—why am I even telling you this. Why am I not hanging up."

"… Memorial? Okay, anyway, suppose for a second that I'm not lying and am in fact a vampire, I would really appreciate having someone believe me and talk to me, but then also suppose I am in fact lying and am not a vampire… I would, what, laugh because this is a prank? That's probably about it? Meanwhile, if I am actually a vampire – which I totally am by the way, not that that helps – then I'm sitting at home being very confused about the fact that vampirism actually exists and also really having no clue what the hell to do about it."

"Except your kind of vampirism conveniently makes you not want me to go to your place, 'for my own safety,' and also it's really really unlikely. But okay, let's play along, what do you want me to do?"

"I think most kinds of vampirism conveniently make you not want to go to my place, at least the ones in fiction! On account of the whole human-drinking aspect! But yes, let's play along, I don't know because I am very confused and mainly want to bounce ideas off someone in this hypothetical so I can do it better and hopefully not murder truckloads of people. Because right now I am worried that that's a possibility! And am also, in case you hadn't noticed, me!"

"Okay, yes, you are in fact acting consistently with someone who would know Theo Owens enough to know that he fed me pasta and bacon the first time we went out running. But anyway, I'm sorry for snarking at you—if you are in fact Theo and not some creepy stalkery prankster, which is becoming less likely the more we talk."

"Is this because of how I'm speaking or because I continue to say that I am a vampire or what because I would really like to skip the whole 'doubt that he's got a horrific problem that he needs to fix' stage and get to the 'actually fix it' stage – like, for starters, I woke up in a morgue," he says. "Naked and high as fuck. At least, I assume it was high, because then I went around trying to lick the walls. And – right, you probably have school soon, so I don't know if you consider this likely enough to possibly try to continue helping me or if I should try sitting in my room and blocking out the outside world for like eight hours until you're done."

Smell!

Knock on Theo's door!

...and now that he's paying attention he might notice he could hear Sadde's voice from outside in addition to from his phone, how interesting!

"Let's test this, then."

That smell– while it smells really tempting and he really wants to go grab it, is a person who is on the other side of the door and talking to him literally right now. He takes in a breath and then stops.

"I would really rather not come to the door right now thank you because I really don't want to bite you and you kinda smell really good," he says in a rush.

"I can deal if you attack me," he says. "Please open the door, I'd rather not pick your lock."

"How much can you deal?" he asks. "Humans only have so much blood."

(… He takes another breath.)

It's... actually not that good a smell? Well, it's good, yes, but not mind-numbingly so, and keeping the fact that it's in fact a person in mind seems to do a good enough job of keeping him from accidentally wanting to munch.

"I can deal, if you're telling the truth," he repeats.

"… Okay," he says. "If you're sure."

So he goes over to the door, then– opens it and runs back to the kitchen door.

"...okay I maybe believe you that was incredibly fast!"

And the smell does not get harder to resist. Sadde is very much a person, really.

"You seem to be a person," says Theo, still in the kitchen, not looking at Sadde. "Which is nice. Because it makes me less inclined to chomp on you."

"...I can actually shapeshift. That wasn't a joke. I am capable of actual, real-deal magic. It's very unreliable and I can basically only do it when it's emotionally significant but if you attacked me I'm pretty sure I'd shapeshift into something you couldn't eat."

"Well that would be extremely convenient," he says. "I guess I'm sorry for not believing you but– ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. So the reason I think you'll hate me– um, you can probably guess but it feels wrong to tell you from around the door, ugh, ugh."

He hits his head back against the door – lightly, he doesn't want to break it.

"You shouldn't be sorry, I'm pretty sure there's some magic stuff going on that makes people not believe me when I say it, it's ridiculous the lengths they'll go to to ignore the evidence," he says, cautiously, giving Theo some time to work it out without creating a heavy expectant silence.

"I'm not sure that helps," he says. "Well, it presumably helps if I want to do anything that doesn't just cause people to try to burn me at the stake or– whatever, but ugh."

"Okay. Why do you think people would burn you at the stake, though? For that matter, how do you know you're a vampire?"