The dwarf holds up one of the innumerable braids of beard. A spontaneous Bardic Knowledge check reveals that this braid indicates a female dwarf who has chosen to grow a beard for religious reasons.

"I shave men who don't shave themselves," she clarifies. "We get a guy in Tuesday-Thursday to shave women who don't shave themselves. And I guess you're pretty, for a twink. You want that tuft on your face removed? Because I'm not doing any other tufts."

Elan experiences the relief of paradox resolution!

"Oh, that makes sense! Yeah, just my chin is good."

Barber chair? Fun little cape that shouldn't reset the timer?

It's sheer muslin! His dick is still very much visible. (There's also a towel on the seat.)

Bertie clambers up to stand on a little misericord on the chairback, then starts shearing. Then she stops shearing.

"Is there glue in your beard?"

Elan doesn't nod, because the shears are still right there.

"Yeah, my evil twin brother framed me for all the crimes he did by knocking me out, switching our clothes, and gluing his beard onto me."

"thog helped!"

Bertie grumbles as she hops down and goes to retrieve a bottle of Universal Solvent (It's Not Water!) "Coulda told me before I started. Sovereign Glue's hell on razorblades... at least you've got a better reason to be naked than because I'm so pretty."

She splashes it onto a towel, wipes it over the blades, then starts scrubbing his face.

"Oh, sorry for not mentioning it…"

Maybe Bertie should keep the change from the gold piece. Especially since Elan is realizing just now that there might be more than just glue in there.

He thinks on this while staying still as she applies the not-water.

A skill has been created by a special action! Considering the needs of others and the inconvenience of making them clean up after your sexual misadventures has created the skill DNA Avoidance!

It doesn't take much scrubbing; the glue feels oddly hot as it dissolves, but not enough to hurt. She takes away the towel, now covered in fine blonde hair, and squints.

"Y'know, I could've sworn there was more glue there? But there sure isn't. D'you want a haircut while you're in the chair?"

"No thank you!"

Once the little barber cape is off, Elan feels his face.

"Yay, I'm smooth again!"

He hops out of the chair and sets the gold piece down on the counter. He should probably keep at least a little of his money, but maybe there's a tip jar?

Yeah, she can break the gold for silver and, if pressed, tell him that 20% is a decent tip. Then tell him how much 20% of five silver is.

What'll he do in the city, freshly shaved and in possession of four shiny silver pieces and also still buck-ass naked?

There's probably a lot of fun stuff to do in Cliffport! Elan really likes big cities; he had a blast during Southern New Year. But… he should probably get back to Azure City. He won't be able to have fun if he's worrying about his friends the whole time!

"Okay, now that I'm all shaven, I think it's time to find a spellcaster. Roy and the others probably teleported straight to Azure City with Nale as soon as we were arrested, so any other way of getting there would be way too slow."

"thog suggest rocket skates. plan simple: step one, break into evidence locker. step two, steal back thog's rocket skates. step three: rocket skates."

"That sounds very zany," says a politely amused voice from behind Elan, "but somehow I doubt that rocket skates are the best option for international travel. Especially one pair for two travelers."

Elan turns around again. It's that guy from earlier!

"Hi, guy from earlier! Yeah, you're probably right… there's probably lots of mountains and rivers between here and Azure City, and it would really suck if we crashed into something. Hey, do you know anyone who can cast Teleport?"

"Several," he demurs. "Some of them even have it prepared, or available spontaneously. I would, of course, want to know whom I was aiding in fleeing the country. And why he looked so much like a wanted mass murderer and demon summoner, accompanied by the aforementioned murderer's known accomplice. And, ideally, why they're both naked – if only to sate my own curiosity."

He flicks the tip of Elan's dick by way of conversational gesture.

"thog still think rocket skates sound fun," Thog grunts. "journey more important than destination."

Elan giggles when he's flicked.

"I can explain all of those things! Do you wanna get coffee or something? Maybe steal the rocket skates anyway?"

Thoughtful hum. "I have a class to TA in five hours... but I doubt this will take that long, or if it does, it'll be narratively convenient. Let's steal your rocket skates and get some coffee."

"decisive thog victory!"

"Yay!"

To the jail!

"Okay, how do we wanna do this? It would be handy if I could repeat my invisibility ritual, but that might reset the timer on my showing off ritual. Or maybe I could cast Disguise Self and pretend to be a guard? Wait, that might also reset the timer…"

The man casts Disguise Self and walks into the station.

Five rounds later, he walks out followed by a floating basket containing the rocket skates, Nale's and Thog's gear, one of those little cardboard coffee trays, and a box of anachronistically frosted doughnuts.

"Wow, you're good! Do you wanna have the coffee in that park where Durkon and Vaarsuvius fought the evil gnome druid?"

"Hm. The one where all of the trees exploded? You're a braver man than I, risking that many splinters."

"Huh? Oh, right, because I'm not wearing anything. I forgot that I might get splinters in my butt about that. You know Cliffport better than me, do you have an idea you like?"

A skill has been created by a special action! The possibility of suffering totally unsexy injury while nude has created the skill DR 2/ERO!

the book writes, inside its covers, where he can't see it.

"I confess I had an idea in mind."

With a masterful scene-transition, they find themselves sitting at a patio table out by the front of the university. Passers-by are nearly constant, though he's put up a spell that keeps them from hearing the actual conversation.

"My name is Timothy Koan," Timothy says apropos of nothing. "Since it hasn't come up naturally in dialogue. What's yours?"