That guard pokes his head through the door. "You two keep down that... racket..."

He observes the non-visibility of his prisoners, and the puddle.

"Damn it, there really were ghosts! I need an old cleric and a young cleric! Right after I get a sample of this strange ectoplasm."

He opens the cell door and bends over to scoop up an evidence vial's worth of orc cum. (It's pretty difficult. Vials get slippery.)

Hehehehehe.

Elan makes a shhh! face at Thog, then squeezes past the guard to leave the cell.

Thog elects to squeeze the guard's butt, as he also squeezes past.

     "Oh sweet gods, the ghosts are having their ghostly way with me!" The guard runs out into the guardhouse proper, then out into the street.

Elan grins and flashes Thog a thumbs-up.

"OK, what's next… we should find a spellcaster who can use that Sending spell to talk to Roy. Or teleport us straight to Azure City. And I want to get this goatee shaved off before sunrise so people don't keep thinking I'm Nale. And get new clothes for when the invisibility wears off. Maybe I should do that first thing first. Oh, but we should probably leave the guardhouse in case one of the clerics has True Seeing."

He can probably do that last thing right now, actually, if the guard left the doors open.

He did! Thog joins him on the street outside, then gazes beatifically at the horizon, the sea, and the white limestone of the buildings around them, luminous pink-and-red-and-gold.

"oh wow. cliffport get really pretty sunrise."

Apparently time flies when you're having sex!

"Shoot! It is pretty, but that means our invisibility is gonna wear off soon!"

He flips the book open. Maybe there's a way to do the ritual again that buys them enough time to get some clothes?

Starting to strip without even considering the fact that we implied there was a nonzero chance of this resulting in you getting fucked in the ass against your will has raised ERO by 1! ERO is now 11!

Ritual Unlocked: Blood Runs Thicker

You don't know much about your father. What you do know is tainted by unreliable sources, like Nale and Thog. Why not get some objective universal truth?

Success: The truth.
Failure: You'll learn eventually.

Seeing a completely uncensored penis for what may be the first time and very nearly coming in your pants about it has increased your LST by 1! Your LST is now 16!

A skill has been created by a special action! Trying to communicate conversational metadata when your conversational partner cannot see you has created the skill Slash HJ!

Retroactively having heard about knotting and being kind of into it has increased your PRV by 1! Your PRV is now 18!

Ritual completed: Jailhouse Cock

Result: (Temporary) Greater Invisibility, +100 E-XP, +1 BOD
Augmentation #1: Second participant. Mass (temporary) Greater Invisibility, +100 E-XP, +1 SED, +1 FUK, thog unlocked for magicule!

Your Ero-Level has increased by 1! Your Ero-level is now 2! You now have 10 total stat points to distribute!

Soaking your ero-tome in cum has raised ERO by 2! ERO is now 13!

Walking out into the street completely naked has raised your BOD by 1, but your BOD cannot increase to 30 without an advancement ritual! Your BOD is locked at 29+1.

Advancement Ritual Unlocked: Smile and Wave, Boys

The secret of all great spies: Stealth is great, and lies are great, but they pale before the power of looking like you know what you're doing. You'll need clothes eventually, sure. But only because they're pretty. If you really strut your stuff, you're not just some random pervert, you're a work of art – so strut it. For at least 12 hours.

Success: Unlock BOD 30, +1 inherent Charisma
Failure: This ritual cannot "fail" per se, but you will totally get arrested.

Wow, that's a lot of text. It's interesting that the book kept updating in real time while it was closed. Can it not tell when he's reading it?

He's a bit nervous that it's giving him a ritual to learn about his father, given that the last ritual involved having sex with Thog. Hopefully whoever he ends up having sex with to find out about his dad won't… actually be his dad?

He doesn't really notice a difference between LST 15 and LST 16. He feels like maybe he should tell Thog about it? Not the whole story, just that he has a really nice penis. Since it raised one of his stats, and all.

Elan does not know what "conversational metadata" is! Maybe V would… then again, it has the word "conversation" in it so Roy would probably be a better person to ask.

He smiles at the bit about retroactively hearing about knotting. It's less the increased stat, though he does appreciate that part, and more—everyone else he's mentioned this basic bardic concept to has been weird about it. He feels a sense of kinship with the book, or whoever wrote it.

He wiggles happily at having completed the ritual. With an augmentation, even, that he didn't even know about! He's not sure what the difference between E-XP and regular XP is… did he also get 100 regular XP? Also, he doesn't know what a magicule is or what it means that Thog got unlocked for it. Maybe it just means that he'll get more rituals that involve Thog in the future. That'll be fun!

This book is super generous with stat point increases. Maybe it's because all the numbers are higher than regular stats? If BOD 28 and 29 are basically the same as CHA 19, then one regular stat point is equal to… uh… more than one E-stat point.

29+1 is going to be hard to remember, if Elan has to keep track of his stat points himself. So he should probably do this advancement ritual right away. Especially since it'll take his Charisma from 19 to…

(He counts on his fingers and toes.)

20! Wow! That'll increase his modifier, too! Yeah, he can keep his clothes off for 12 hours. Even though it's mid-March in Cliffport. And he'll have to hold the book the whole time… unless there's some sort of sex ritualist skill he can use to access his equipment without a plausible pocket.

He should probably get a pen so he can write questions in here. But for now:

"Okay, so the invisibility wearing off won't be a problem, because if I can show off my body until past sunset it'll make me better at doing sex magic! If you want new clothes now we can find some, though."

The subtitle embosses itself under his fingers, then changes to We won't make you do incest (unless you ask really nicely).

Meanwhile, a bit more text emerges on the page:

A skill has been created by a special action! Needing to stow your personal effects while gloriously nude has created the skill Sack of Holding!

"thog like showing off. also, difficult to find well-fitting loincloth in human district."

(Elan giggles at the skill name.)

"To the barbershop, then!"

He sets off. He has a feeling that the next barbershop they encounter will be open conveniently early for a reason that makes complete sense, and that it'll be reasonably close to the prison.

He's literally SO right about this. On the corner after the next they pass is "Bertie's Barbershop", the pole outside which advertises 5-silver shaves for all (and only those) men who do not shave themselves! Opening hours: all of them

Yay!

oh wait he's broke right now

Elan closes his eyes thoughtfully. Bertie's Barbershop will probably accept "alternate payment," that much is obvious. Elan's okay with this; he can pay in advance even. But maybe if he turns around he'll spot a single gold piece on the ground.

He totally does! It's on a slight downslope; he'll have to bend over pretty far to reach it.

Bend…

And snap!

Applause!

Elan turns around, blushing picturesquely. That sure sounds like more than just Thog saw!!

Yep! There's a gaggle of teenage wizard students clapping and giggling –

– until the also-teenage-but-definitely-legal wizard shepherding them clears his throat, at which they fall silent.

"We're already almost late," he says mildly. "And the moon being out doesn't mean the sun isn't up. Let's get a move on."

A mildly fearful hustle ensues. The shepherd gives Elan a friendly smirk as he goes with them.

Elan—waves shyly. He knows he's supposed to be less shy, but sue him, he was startled.

At least it was just a bunch of Julia's schoolmates. Elan's surprised by how young people in school look now, when he was that old just four or five years ago! Well, except the guy who had his own screenname and everything. He looked like he was closer to Elan's own age of 21. Definitely not super young at all.

This apparently isn't an extended scene, though, so Elan turns back to Thog.

"Those guys seemed nice!"

And then: into Bertie's.

Bertie's is staffed by a dwarf so intensely bearded as to resemble a Muppet, who raises a bushy eyebrow upon their entry.

"Orc isn't eligible, human is, why're you naked?"

Elan could just say that he's performing a ritual that requires nudity. But he gets the sense that this would be less… fun.

"I'm showing off how pretty I am!" is what comes out of his mouth. "Since I have 19 Charisma and everything. How could you tell that I don't shave myself but Thog does? Can you shave yourself? Since obviously you don't shave… your…"

Oh no!