What a great transition! Elan's pretty sure that there was a page break just there, maybe even a cutaway scene to the rest of the Order or Team Evil.

"I'm Elan! And this is Thog."

"Enchanté. That's one question of mine partly answered; do you recall the rest?"

Elan thinks.

"You wanted to know why I looked like Nale, why I was hanging out with Thog, and… why we wanted to go to Azure City? And maybe something else."

Timothy steeples his fingers in front of himself. "Are you certain you can't remember what else?"

There's a hand on Elan's prick.

(Thog is committing double-fisted violence against fried pastry.)

"Wow, do you have three hands?"

Elan shivers; the touch feels good.

"Okay, I definitely remember. You wanted to know why—why we're naked. I can tell the full story but I might get distracted. More than usual."

"All those bardic skill ranks, and none in Spellcraft." Timothy notes. "Please do tell; we'll see if I can hold your interest."

At hold, there's a squeeze around his balls.

Does Timothy have a different pun-based prestige class Elan actually doesn't know about those in this timeline. He casts Summon Plot Exposition as a visual aid.

"Okay, so I have a twin brother, Nale. He was raised by our Lawful Evil dad, I was raised by our Chaotic Good mom. We first met in a dungeon my party was exploring. We were going to kill this lich, the lich hired his team to kill us. Our team managed to beat his team, we sent him to be arrested but I guess he escaped. After we beat the lich, I blew up the dungeon, and then Lord Shojo sent this paladin to arrest us about it, but really he wanted to tell us the secret lore of the Sapphire Guard and hire us to do some stuff that the paladins couldn't because they were paladins."

Elan takes a donut to fiddle with while he talks.

"But then Nale kidnapped Roy's sister, Roy's my party leader, so we came here to save her. Except that was a trap so that Nale could switch our clothes and glue his beard to my face so I would go to jail for six months and he could kill everyone else. When the guards came to give us our stuff back, uh, Nale's stuff and Thog's stuff I mean, there was a book in Nale's stuff about being a sex wizard that said it was great for escaping prison cells. It's an intelligent book, it can write in itself, and it told me that if I took my clothes off I would have Greater Invisibility until sunrise. So I did that, and Thog did that, and we had fun, and then we walked out. And while I was thinking about finding new clothes, the book told me that if I keep my clothes off for twelve hours it'll raise my Charisma score. So now I'm doing that."

That was a lot! Also, he forgot that Summon Plot Exposition would show Timothy pictures of his sex scene with Thog.

Timothy listens, rapt. He intermittently screws with the Mage Handjob to make Elan lose his train of thought, but only a little.

"Do you mind showing me the book? I'm curious how it's enchanted; intelligent items have always been a pet project of mine."

Elan produces the tome, setting it on the table.

"Here it is!"

His eyes start glowing silver. The Mage Hand keeps doing its job, so it's not a concentration-based spell; either he's got Permanency or he's using some kind of alternate rules system. Or he has Archmage levels.

"Fascinating," he murmurs. "Would you like to know what this book is?"

Elan doesn't worry about it! Mostly because, now that he doesn't have exposition to deliver, he's free to enjoy himself. He starts eating the donut he picked to increase his enjoyment.

"Hm?" he asks around a mouthful of pastry. "Besides being a book? Yeah, sure!"

"That's the interesting part, though," Timothy says, twisting the Hand as he picks up the tome. "It's just... a book. Leather. Paper. Glue and ink. As magical as your grandmother's wooden teeth. At least, that's what Arcane Sight tells me.

"But Detect Thoughts disagrees. There's a mind there. And in another round, I'll..."

...stop talking, apparently. Sit there, his jaw suddenly slack, his breeches suddenly failing to conceal an erection. Let the book fall down onto the tabletop.

Oh no! Elan has heard that if you try to use Detect Thoughts on someone who's too smart or powerful or weird, their mind will sometimes bite back. Like being bonked on the head with a comically oversized cartoon mallet. Elan scoops the book up, flipping it open.

"What did you do⁈ Is he gonna be okay?"

Beneath the skill notifications for DNA Avoidance and DR 2/Ero is... a ritual!

Ritual Unlocked: We Don't Ask Where You People Keep Your Brains

Listen, we had nothing to do with this. It's how the spell works. If you point it at an entity like us, you're lucky if all you get is Stunned for a round or two – and Timothy Koan is many things, but he's not lucky. That being said, we're a very nice entity. You can fix him.

(Not like that. That'll take a whole quest chain.)

Right now, he's brainfucked. Semi-literally. You can treat this condition by reminding him that there's a world, that it's as real as it ever was, and it's got nice things like blowjobs in it.

Success: +200 E-XP, +1 FUK, Timothy Koan unlocked for magicule
Failure: Timothy Koan returns to sentience without your help, or doesn't. You can make that choice later, but we recommend door number 2.

"wizard broken?" Thog asks. "thog like wizard. got doughnuts."

… Wow, is the book telling him that it's okay for him to suck Timothy's dick while he's in an eldritch coma?

"It says I can fix him," he says distractedly. He isn't sure how long the privacy spell will last, so…

He slides under the table and gets up in Timothy's business, by which he means his crotch.

The breeches cooperate with being tugged down in a hurry.

He's pretty well hung. Not Thog-hung. Not even (from what Elan has occasionally seen, mostly against his will) Belkar-hung. But that there is a good, solid cock; paler even than Elan's, uncut and sort of statuesque with it, so hard it's twitching.

Elan shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. It's a nice smell.

Then he opens his eyes so he can gently take it in hand and guide the tip to his mouth.