"...but?"

"But it's always a roll of the dice. And I always loaded it in the one direction, right, since if I'm a whimpering horny mess I can't make stupid decisions—mostly can't make any decisions at all, which is great. When I'm—like this, I just talk my ass off, and I've got no filter."

"Oh you're backlashing right now. ...I thought you locked your phone when this happened."

"I'm—not as bad. As I was earlier. But the point is that I just say whatever comes to mind, and there are things I can't say, and I can't trust her, not after so little time together, to not spread it around. And there's—everything else. You know. You know. I can't be vulnerable around her."

"...but you're here?"

"...yes?"

"As in, you're not with her right now, even though you're actively backlashing."

"Oh. Yeah she told me to go back home."

"She... told you."

"When it started getting really bad and I started talking too much."

"She told you to come back home..."

"For my own sake, she said. She said that she didn't want me to regret stuff. Kind of the same stuff you say sometimes."

"She told you to come back home when you started backlashing badly enough that you might regret things, so that you... wouldn't regret things... and that's bad, somehow."

"...it sounds stupid when you put it like that and that's because that's not what I meant."

"No?"

"I can't trust her, Woo-young!" he suddenly explodes. "I can't just give people full access! You know this! You know what could happen!"

"Sunbae—"

"Don't sunbae me, there's no telling when one thing will lead to the other when I backlash! The common thread is that I lose my cool! I lose control! And if I don't have control then it's free for the taking!"

"...I see."

"Yeah of fucking course you see, I'm not fucking stupid, I know what I'm talking about!"

He's not going to take it personally. Backlashes suck.

"So I need—" He grits his teeth. "Fuck, the other thing was better, now I'm fucking—pissed off—I need your help."

"Right. Okay. What would the ideal solution look like?"

"I don't fucking know, do I? I want to get guiding without—this. Without subjecting her to this shit, or letting her see me like this."

"You want to get guiding without actually showing her your backlash."