"You are my king and have the right to know anything you want," he says at once.

"Or at least everything the Enemy couldn't use, since you think perhaps I'm not your king or your father at all. Anyhow, you don't tell me everything and I'd rather you lie with my leave than without it. So. Just that question. I was thinking perhaps after the war I could walk you through our engineering work carefully enough you're convinced of it -"

"Thank you. That would be lovely."

"Do you want to be here, Maedhros?"

"Not really. I am feeling very trapped right now and I hate feeling trapped. I think I should probably be here anyway."

"I'm working on eidetic memory that's not a necklace."

"Why? It's not a good priority."

"I'm trying to acquire some more sympathetic character flaws, like prioritizing my children too much or something."

Maedhros actually does smile.

Fëanor picks up a pen and paper and starts writing, and writes for twenty minutes, uninterrupted.

"I've been pretending I'm coping much better than I am because I need everyone to trust me, I don't remember most of my life and in particular don't remember why I ever - if I ever - if I'm not talking to you like I used to I can't, I don't know how I used to do it - and I haven't let the necklace fix it because I'm scared if you are the Enemy I'd be letting you put your own pieces in me - and I am only unhappy in Doriath because it'd be very hard to kill myself if I suddenly needed to and after the war I might take Loki up on a job wrangling frost giants but first I'm taking Findekáno to a vacation planet somewhere sexually liberal because we've been secretly involved for several centuries and I don't feel comfortable around you because you could hurt me, in a way that promising not to wouldn't really fix, and this discomfort seems to be persistent and intractable and a feature of everyone who has more power than me and I think it might go away once I have teleportation.

I think that's everything."

"Okay," he says. "Seems like indelible eidetic memory is in fact a pretty good priority. Wrangling frost giants to do what?"

"Do you want to be the new Quendi planet's emissary to Loki's by-the-time-you-two-are-done frost giant empire, or would you rather work on this one independently?"

"Hadn't really considered it," Maedhros says, "your choice. I was sort of expecting I'd be operating independently until you forgave me."

"For - getting captured? My error as much as yours, and I eventually even managed to forgive myself for it, forgiving you was much easier. For not wanting your memories back yet? That's on your time. If teleportation doesn't help with the being miserable in my presence we'll develop better long-distance communication. Or do you mean for having terrible taste in men? I'm not going to avoid pointing out that there's a galaxy out there and you deserve much better and could probably get it, but -

I'll forgive you that one if you forgive me for raising you children in Valinor, raising you to trust them."

"Okay," he says. "Uh, that's not going to work as a public answer, if it comes up, and it might, the Enemy knows -"

"My public answer is that my children can do whatever the Halls they please."

"No," he says patiently, "think, it really can't be. It - puts Findekáno in a very bad position, if nothing else, and also I'm not sure Nolofinwë wouldn't outright challenge you at that point -"

"I am not sure what the point of being widely known as a Kinslayer is if people get shocked whenever you do anything wrong."

"..."

"I assume you have the steps you want me to dance."

"I do."

"While there's still a war on, but not a minute longer."

Maedhros shakes his head. "Does that mean I can safely invite you to the wedding party after all?"

"...what?"

"It's something I want. I don't know why I want it but I don't have to compromise on it so I'm not going to."

"Couldn't you have met a nice Man, they're technically fifteen now, little bit less appalling, or an orc, or something? It could be a boy orc! I can be open-minded about that! Or, if you were dead set on one of your cousins, you have cousins on your mother's side -"

"I did not actually pick him to defy you, if you were wondering."

"A little bit. He doesn't seem to have other noticeable traits."

"So you will not be attending the wedding party."

"If you were marrying an inanimate object and wanted me at the wedding party I'd be there."

"But I'm not marrying an inanimate object, so -"

"I've never been able to distinguish Findekáno from one."

"You don't really believe that I can sleep with whoever I want if you're going to radiate disdain at whoever I actually pick for that. I appreciate that you're not disgusted, but - I'm going to need that to go both ways."

"I assure you I haven't lost respect for Findekáno on learning this; that would have required I had any in the first place -"

And Maedhros slaps him. He leaps forward a bit like a startled animal and Fëanor is recently come out of accelerated perception and perhaps genuinely has slow reflexes, or in any event does not move, and then the room is suddenly ringingly silent. "I hate you for burning those ships," Maedhros says. "I don't have the memories that would give me a reason to love you anyway and I've been trying without that but - emotions are so hard to have in the first place, they're far, far too hard to actually fake. You left them to die and you have not apologized and it was ugly and cowardly and hypocritical and I am so tired of covering for you - I have not told anyone I tried to stop you, because I cannot make myself say it, what does that count for, tried - and I have been wearing a crime I tried to hold you back from around my neck from the minute I supposedly got out of Angband -"

"Are you going to feel that way if we miss a missile and it crushes their city? In Valinor they'd have been safe, we wouldn't be spread thin protecting them -"

"I never ever again want to hear you defend your choices by saying 'in Valinor they'd have been safe'."

There's a knock on the door.

"Don't come in," Fëanor says. And he looks back at Maedhros. "You needn't be in my presence again until I have indelible memory."

"Noted."

Does that mean they're done or - not...?