"Ugh," says Milo. "I hate this world. It's not even that it's a yawning pit of horror, although it certainly is - I could handle a yawning pit of horror if I at least knew it well enough to hold a conversation with its inhabitants! But we go for one bloody walk in the park and suddenly there's a bunch of people trying to kill each other and we're right in the middle of it, and then that fellow with the big stick was looming menacingly over us and I couldn't even talk my way out. I'm good at talking my way out. I'm not used to - to lacking the option. Oh," he waves a hand vaguely, "I made a half-decent showing, I guess, but it was fucking terrifying. You've been amazingly informative but there's still so much I don't understand."

"This particular walk in the park was a statistical outlier, to be fair. I have frequently walked through parks without being shot even once."

"I believe you," he sighs. "I just. Ugh. Even if getting mildly threatened by tall men with staves is an uncommon occurrence, encountering people isn't, and I'm always afraid to open my mouth in case I say something exceptionally foreign."

"Sorry. It's surprisingly difficult to explain to someone how your own universe is different to Disney Magicland. Come to think of it, I don't know that I even told you what guns are. I'm an awful host."

"I'm sure I wouldn't do a much better job if I had to help you get used to my world. I could manage warnings like 'be polite to dragons', but I'd be lost if I tried to tell you everything I know about geography and magic and politics and heraldry and I don't even know what else, all at once."

"Well, short of reading the Encyclopædia Britannica cover-to-cover, I can't really see much of a solution here. You could affect an offensive foreign accent and pretend to be from Ruritania, I suppose."

"Reading the what?"

"Extremely long 'book' that's... supposed to hold most of the knowledge considered relevant to a Western education... You know, the more I think about this the less crazy an idea that sounds."

"Where can I find this book?"

"Library'd probably have it. The spines of the volumes make pretty pictures when you put them in order, so libraries like having at least one set to look good on the shelves."

"And can we go to this library and ask nicely to read their book?"

"One of the things you might find in the Encyclopædia Britannica is the existence of public libraries, which are these places that have a bunch of books that people can read for free. So. Yes."

"Well, I think I've found myself an immediate project, then. Time to read some books."

Leo makes the appropriate turn to head to the nearest public library. "And while you nerd it up I can check up on the state of the art in shitty vampire fiction."

"Is that shitty fiction by or about vampires?"

"The latter, for the most part. There's a couple of White Court who write trashy romances or horror, but none of them actually involve vampires. We've yet to produce anyone at that depth of self-respect."

Giggle.

It is: a library! There are a number of variably unfriendly and/or middle-aged women tending to its needs.

He manages to locate an encyclopedia - wow, that's a lot of volumes - and a chair to sit in while he reads it. He takes down the first volume and sits in the chair and wearily wishes that his feet touched the floor.

Oh. Of course. Of fucking course. Milo glares at the tall man's ribcage as he passes, not wanting to bother looking up far enough to glare at his face, and returns his attention firmly to his encyclopedia.