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Frogs.
It is fucking raining fucking frogs.
Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden did not go to Wizard College* so some asshole could make it start raining frogs in his town. He takes a team to check it out. (His team consists of Mouse, who is now large enough not to need to sit in his pocket, and Buttercup. They are a good team.)
(*Ebenezar McCoy's second-largest barn)
fortheliving
fortheliving
Harry is more irritated than excited, but Buttercup's cute. He'l allow it.
Mouse is also excited! Also, he has warmed up to Buttercup through a combination of exposure and evidence that he is not a creature of evil.
no-return
"So is it strictly a rain of frogs or are there other amphibians involved?" he wonders from the passenger seat of the Blue Beetle. "I guess we'll find out when we get there."
fortheliving
"Usually it's closer to toads, really. Public perception of frogs isn't that clear."
no-return
"Public perception of frogs," he giggles. "You're adorable, Harry. I adore you."
fortheliving
"Thank you! Those are certainly words that I said."
no-return
Giggle. "So cute!"
Up ahead: something goes splat.
"...Oh wow, rain of frogs," he says, leaning forward. "Well, more like a drizzle of frogs at this point." Splat. "Poor little guys. I bet they didn't ask to be rained."
Up ahead: something goes splat.
"...Oh wow, rain of frogs," he says, leaning forward. "Well, more like a drizzle of frogs at this point." Splat. "Poor little guys. I bet they didn't ask to be rained."
fortheliving
"Pretty sure they don't have a central nervous system. If they do, this is a way bigger problem than I thought."
no-return
"...Like, fake magic frogs? That's a thing? Somebody's raining fake magic frogs? Why the fuck?"
no-return
"...okay," he concedes, "if I had magic I'd probably rain fake frogs with it at some point too. Is that a thing? Can I rain fake frogs? Just, like, a little fake frog rain." He gestures the smallness of the intended fake frog rain. It is so small. "Not enough to freak anybody out."
fortheliving
"Not really. 'Little' and 'rain of frogs' don't go well together, conceptually. Also, I don't... think you have magic. I probably would've noticed when you hugged me. Unless I was distracted by the sizzling noise, which, I mean... maybe? D'you want me to check you for magic?"
fortheliving
They're near enough to the park, by now; Harry parks the Beetle. Then he removes one driving glove and pokes Buttercup's hand. And ignores the smell of bacon.
"...Well then. That... would appear to be magic. Congratulations?"
"...Well then. That... would appear to be magic. Congratulations?"
no-return
Buttercup giggles when poked. "Cool! But we should probably check out this rain of frogs before I start trying to learn how to duplicate it in miniature. One thing at a time."
fortheliving
"Yes, yes. Good ideas. I... will have to think about how to teach you. Since I guess I'm going to have to teach you. Jeez."
He exits the car, somewhat distractedly, and starts poking at frogs.
He exits the car, somewhat distractedly, and starts poking at frogs.
no-return
Buttercup exits the car too. A toad falls from the sky. He dodges, tries to catch it, misses, sighs at its splatted form, and takes a look around.
needle-in-echo-groove
There's a bag lady over there who looks super weird. She might have a hunch, or something. Other than that, the park's weirdly empty given the fact that it's raining goddamn frogs. The only other people are this very tiny pretty man standing next to a figure in... what is that, a burqa? Doesn't look exactly like it, but it's not showing any skin, whatever it is. Odd.
no-return
The tiny pretty man is enchantingly adorable.
The bag lady is... mildly unsettling.
"Hey," he says, leaning on the side of the car rather than stray too far from it just now. "So what are you actually trying to find out about these miscellaneous amphibians? Are they fake? They look real to me."
Gazing happily upon the tiny pretty man is not only an excellent pastime, but also an ironclad excuse to keep the bag lady in his peripheral vision a little longer.
The bag lady is... mildly unsettling.
"Hey," he says, leaning on the side of the car rather than stray too far from it just now. "So what are you actually trying to find out about these miscellaneous amphibians? Are they fake? They look real to me."
Gazing happily upon the tiny pretty man is not only an excellent pastime, but also an ironclad excuse to keep the bag lady in his peripheral vision a little longer.
fortheliving
"Yeah. I've been checking them out with magic and all, and they're actual frogs. And toads, I guess. Which... is bad. Very bad. Something is wrong."
no-return
"Well, that doesn't sound like any fun," he says. Another toad falls nearby. This one, he manages to catch. He takes a few steps away from the car (which happens to put him directly between Harry and the increasingly unsettling bag lady) and sets the toad down very gently at the edge of the park. "But is hanging around getting frogs rained on us going to help any, or are we done here? Because we could totally go home, where it is less gross and froggy, and you could ponder the mystery of the frog rain and optionally teach me everything you know about frog-raining theory."
Pause. Smirk.
"Alternately, I could go hit on that extremely cute guy over there who's using his friend as a frog umbrella."
Pause. Smirk.
"Alternately, I could go hit on that extremely cute guy over there who's using his friend as a frog umbrella."
fortheliving
"Well, I wouldn't want to get in the way of that. D'you want to do that while I take Mouse for a walk around the park? I mean, the world may be ending, but that's no reason to neglect pet care."
no-return
"Aww, you're a sweetheart," he says, and bounces over to give Harry a hug. He is of course wearing his mandatory fluffy sweater.
fortheliving
Harry hugs him back! He's been getting practice, lately. Then he tugs Mouse away from worrying at a mostly-splatted frog for walking purposes.
no-return
He doesn't know for sure that something's up, and he doesn't know enough about this magic business to tell whether it's a better idea to say something or keep quiet. Maybe the creepy bag lady is just a creepy bag lady minding her own business, and he wouldn't be doing anybody any favours bringing suspicion on her.
So he tucks his hands in his pockets and strolls across the park toward the extremely cute guy.
So he tucks his hands in his pockets and strolls across the park toward the extremely cute guy.