no-return
"That was not remotely the most boring thing in the world," says Buttercup. "Let's go get my sweater!"
doing-the-right-thing
(The skull's eye sockets glimmer again as they leave.)
Harry clambers up through the trapdoor and out to the door door. He opens it, revealing a man almost as tall as he is, bearing three extremely fuzzy sweaters.
"Hello, Harry. I'm told you need sweaters for, ahem, 'unclear magic reasons that he refused to clarify because he's a selfish bastard who doesn't care about the people who get caught in his wake of destruction'? Correcting for Charity's editorializing, I assume you need them for magic reasons."
Harry clambers up through the trapdoor and out to the door door. He opens it, revealing a man almost as tall as he is, bearing three extremely fuzzy sweaters.
"Hello, Harry. I'm told you need sweaters for, ahem, 'unclear magic reasons that he refused to clarify because he's a selfish bastard who doesn't care about the people who get caught in his wake of destruction'? Correcting for Charity's editorializing, I assume you need them for magic reasons."
doing-the-right-thing
They're so fuzzy!
"And who's this?" asks Michael. "Do you have an apprentice now?"
"Not an apprentice, just- he's White Court, so I can't touch him without burning him, and he likes hugging."
Michael raises an eyebrow. "Well, far be it from me to stand in the way of hugs. Take the sweaters with my blessing, they were going to Goodwill anyway."
"And who's this?" asks Michael. "Do you have an apprentice now?"
"Not an apprentice, just- he's White Court, so I can't touch him without burning him, and he likes hugging."
Michael raises an eyebrow. "Well, far be it from me to stand in the way of hugs. Take the sweaters with my blessing, they were going to Goodwill anyway."
doing-the-right-thing
Michael hands over the sweaters. (The sweaters themselves are slightly burny, as Michael knitted them for Charity himself. But they don't seem to do anything past mild burny discomfort.)
In the process, his hand brushes Buttercup's, leaving behind a wide patch of blackened skin and the smell of burning meat. "Oh! Oh, no, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to- oh dear. Would you like a bandage?"
In the process, his hand brushes Buttercup's, leaving behind a wide patch of blackened skin and the smell of burning meat. "Oh! Oh, no, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to- oh dear. Would you like a bandage?"
doing-the-right-thing
Harry sighs. "Don't worry, Michael. Buttercup, I may have mentioned that Michael is the Fist of God? He has a holy aura that thinks the demonic presence inside you needs to be cooked like a Christmas ham. Also, he's been madly in love with his wife for thirty years, and love builds on itself. Probably should've warned you, come to think of it, but you don't really seem to mind, so."
Michael looks dubiously at the burn, but nods.
Michael looks dubiously at the burn, but nods.
doing-the-right-thing
Michael's eyebrows remain high. "Well, it would be an odd world if we were all alike."
doing-the-right-thing
"Anyway, I'd better head home. Daniel needs help with his calculus homework, and I have an ineffable feeling that I may be necessary in another capacity on the way home. Funniest thing."
Harry rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, God guide you on your way to stabbing some unfortunate monsters. "
"I don't always stab them. My job description includes redemption."
"Yes, but your title isn't 'the compassionate hug of God'."
Harry rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, God guide you on your way to stabbing some unfortunate monsters. "
"I don't always stab them. My job description includes redemption."
"Yes, but your title isn't 'the compassionate hug of God'."
doing-the-right-thing
"I'll bring it up next time I have a performance review with my namesake archangel."
doing-the-right-thing
"Well, I'd best be off. You all have fun now."
Michael firmly hugs Harry, firmly does not hug Buttercup, and returns to his station wagon.
Michael firmly hugs Harry, firmly does not hug Buttercup, and returns to his station wagon.
doing-the-right-thing
"...Okay, just make sure you don't, like, nuzzle my neck and get seared or something." Harry holds out his arms. (His body below the neck is safely ensconced in clothing and, in most cases, leather duster.)
doing-the-right-thing
Harry hugs back appropriately. (Buttercup's hair! So fluffy! The sweater! So fuzzy!)