"...I kinda want to tell the Prophet to call you the Protector of Hogwarts now, but I bet that's already actually something's name," Emma sighs.
"If it is I can't think of it off the top of my head," muses Miranda.
"I will totally tell them that if you like it!" She pauses, then grins. "At least it gives us a couple years to come up with something more general for when you go on your Ultimate Mission. Miranda Swan, Dementor Destroyer, the Vengeance of Azkaban!"
"The Vengeance of Azkaban sounds like I am personally Azkaban and I'm mad at the dementors for - I don't know, abandoning me?"
"Ugh. I was going for 'upset about them haunting you' but I guess the abandoning thing is also valid. You are totally a Dementor Destroyer though."
"I would prefer Very Accurate Dementor Destroyer. It is very accurate that I destroyed one."
"You did!" She looks down and shuffles her feet. "I hope I can tell my parents soon."
"Yeah. I want to tell everybody in case they have ideas for how I can do it again. I'm kind of stuck on it until I know what's going to happen."
"But... I thought you said you could make the Patronus again? When you were testing?"
"I can. Just fine. I just can't get it near any Dementors from inside the castle. That part somebody is going to have to help me with."
"Oh. That kind of 'how to do it again'. Um. There's probably Aurors looking for Dark creatures after the Battle? Or something like that?" She falters. "I think I would... probably leave the hunting stuff to you?" She looks down and mumbles, "'m not as brave as you."
"It's okay, I don't need you to come along or anything," Miranda reassures her. "I'm just - fixated, not hinting at you or anything."
"I know. Mostly I know? I just," foot shuffle, "I feel so unhelpful. But- Dementors are scary, and I don't know what I'd do."
"...If you want me to think of things you could do, I can, but it doesn't sound like you want to, and that's also okay."
"Maybe.... maybe later? It might be less scary when I'm older, and know more spells, and stuff like that. And I don't want Dementors to exist either, and I want to help, I don't want to just abandon you to Dementors or anything! I just, um, for now they're scary."
"I totally understand. I wouldn't want to go looking for them if I couldn't dissolve them into nothing but their cloaks, either," Miranda assures her.
"I will have lots of chocolate for you when you come back though!" she adds firmly.
"I'm sure you know why you're here," she tells them. "And- well. We have run every test we could think of, and as far as we can tell... the Dementor is dead." If one looks closely, one might notice a large torn black cloak in the back corner of the office, in fact. "We have, after extensive searching, discovered no others in the area. And while we are admittedly operating rather on guesswork, we also have an idea of what happened to it, to make it so- large."
Her brow furrows. Whatever she's thinking about, she's not pleased.
"The Dementor appears to have obtained a- let us say, a powerful artifact, lost after the Battle. It has now been safely retrieved." Her flat tone discourages questions. "I can guarantee that no others exist. Hopefully, this will reassure you as to your continued safety here."
She clears her throat and continues. "As far as your Patronus, Miss Swan, I admit to being concerned about the reaction of the press. The Prophet has been known to sensationalize stories at the expense of their subjects. I have no intention of granting interviews without certain safeguards in place, but I would appreciate your cooperation." She scowls. "Certain reporters have been known to attempt to- circumvent such restrictions."