"Ghosts supposedly exist, there are ostensible resurrection spells, some gods have afterlives as their domains, people are days to go to a hell and are tortured there if they were mean, it's allegedly thing."

"And your hair's darker," she points out.

"I– uh. I'm not sure if the afterlife thing makes me much happier about things but you know, at least I won't be permanently destroyed if I do happen to be killed by a vampire, that's, uh. That's something."

"Except if you're turned you don't go to an afterlife."

"Not even your soul or whatever?"

"No one really knows where your soul goes when you turn into a vampire."

"So. Overall, becoming a vampire is approximately super terrible. Because not only do you basically die and get replaced with an amoral copy of yourself, but you also don't go to any of the known afterlives. Because your soul disappears somewhere."

"It doesn't disappear, you can get it back, that's how we know it doesn't go to an afterlife, it has no memory of one when it's back."

"So the soul doesn't die or whatever, but it goes missing and not to an afterlife. Whereas non-vampired-people's souls do remember things because they do go to afterlives?"

"That's the long and the short of it, yes, but I don't know whether to trust the reports. There are rumors of curses that can destroy souls, but..."

"Okay. So overall, becoming a vampire is just terrible, not super terrible, because you're not necessarily permanently gone, but you are however horribly amoral and happen to happily rip out people's throats." He shrugs. "I just – there are lots of. Horrible things."

"The world is even less nice than you'd previously thought, yes."

"Not less nice than I thought a couple of days ago, I don't think – maybe – but yeah, less nice than I thought like four weeks ago." He sighs. "Anyway, I presumably have a soul, despite being a demon – is there a way to check? And uh, maybe we should continue testing if we can think of anything, I dunno."

His hair is now a dark pink.

"There probably is but I don't know it. And it's kinda late and I think we should maybe go to bed and continue testing tomorrow."

"… Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Um. Maybe undo the magic thing on my hair in case it's, like, not perfect in how it undoes the magic or something?"

"No, test results, if it turns out you can't completely unpink your hair I want to know."

He blinks. "Okay, yeah, sure, whatever."

"You look dashing with pink hair, though."

"And I think it's time for us to go home, yes?"

"Yeah," says Theo. "It probably is."

So he'll follow them to the door – assuming there's nothing else before they go – and say bye.

"Good night!"

And both of them are gone.