"That's easy for you to say, you already do." 

"So be nice and don't make her pick any locks if she wants to like you. I'm not mad about that or anything but if you want to make it easier for her to like you than you made it for me, it doesn't seem hard." 

Snort. "I can be much worse than that when I have time to be creative." 

"Well, don't," Lucette says, and picks up a pillow and bops him with it. 

Having a pillow fight sounds like an excellent way to distract himself from the stress of anticipating a deeply important social interaction. 

Lucette is much much stronger than him but that matters much less in a pillow fight than it would in any kind of real fight where the object is to "win" and not to just make sure lots of pillow impacts happen. 

The day of, Daeran is VERY VERY NERVOUS. He's dressed as nicely as possible--not in the clothes he likes best, but in the ones that are the most Socially Appropriate, everything neatened and smoothed as far as possible. He has a box of candies to give her. He has no idea what candy she likes best but everyone likes candy, right, so it's an assortment box. 

He isn't fidgeting. Fidgeting might mess something up or just look unimpressive on its own or something. 

It's obvious that the child is nervous. Galfrey's Sense Motive is nowhere near as superhuman as her Splendor, but she's not blind. 

She approaches him slowly enough not to spook him, but not so slowly that it will wind his anxiety up further, and smiles gently at him and puts her hand on his head. 

"Hello, Daeran." 

Gulp. “Hi. —I mean, hello.”

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to come." That one is just straight-up a lie but Galfrey has not, actually, sworn any oaths not to lie; it's something Iomedae is supposed to have done, but Iomedae as a mortal was better than Queen Galfrey is now in many, many ways. "You have lost much to the demonic forces of our enemies." That one is true, but it rings hollow against everything else lost in the war. 

He nods, looking down. 

(When most people offered their condolences on his mother's death, he felt--angry, scornful; he knew they didn't mean it, not in the way it needed to be meant. When Lucette told him that, it felt--not like she felt his pain, maybe, but like she was a safe shoulder to cry on. 

When Queen Galfrey says it, it feels like a third thing, and he doesn't know what it is yet.)

Galfrey kneels, to bring herself down to his eye level (this also often works with halflings) and places her still-gauntleted hands on his shoulders. 

"Listen to me," she says gently. "I know you must miss your mother very much. I know it hurts. But your mother was very brave. Sacrificing her own life, to prevent the plague from spreading, I can only hope that everyone in Mendev would make that choice, in her place." Of course she's seen enough to know that most people wouldn't, in Mendev or elsewhere, but pointing that out except in the most clinical terms in closed-door strategy sessions has never improved any situation ever. 

Daeran goes still. 

Goes blank. 

Of course. Of fucking course. Because it's always about the crusade, always about everyone else--

If Mother had called for help he would have her, and he's supposed to--he thought--

Queen Galfrey is a paladin but she's his cousin, his mother's cousin, how can she not have valued Mother enough to not just go, oh well, at least other people are alive--

She was supposed to be special. She was supposed to understand. She was supposed to love him. 

Part of him wants to rip himself away from her and scream. He doesn't. He just stands still. 

The kid is...having too many emotions? Galfrey thinks? People usually don't freeze up in front of her but sometimes when they do it's because there's something they don't want to do in front of her, like break down crying or swear or something. 

She's going to pat him gently on the head and leave. She will ask someone to assign a junior clerk to keep a close enough track of him that if showing up again seems advised she can do that. 

(A small flicker of sympathy stirs in her heart; he's only a kid, and he's just lost his entire world for the first time. He's much younger than she was, the first time it happened to her.)

(This small flicker is all her heart can afford to spare for him, after as many times as it's happened to her by now.) 

Lucette wasn't going to be there, obviously, when Daeran met with his cousin the queen. 

But she's excited for him, and he might want to talk about it, so when she's confirmed that the Queen has been and gone and is doing other things now, she shows up. 

He's in his room with the door locked again. This time there are noises from the other side. 

Con...cer...ning? 

He hasn't had his locks changed or anything, any of the times she's done this; by now she knows how to open his lock pretty efficiently. 

Fortunately for her, the probably-expensive breakable object that Daeran is currently in the process of flinging while screaming was aimed against one of the side walls, and not at the door. 

He stops when he sees her, his eyes red-rimmed, his face twisted into a scowl. 

"What," he bites out. 

Oh no. 

"What happened?" 

He snarls, picks up a pillow and tears it in half. 

Okay. 

Well. 

Lucette is going to hug him from behind. 

"What are you doing." 

"I am hugging you. But you can still throw stuff or whatever." 

"...Why do you want me to still be able to throw stuff?" 

"Well, I'm not making it so you can throw stuff, I'm just not stopping you from throwing stuff. Why would I stop you from doing something when I don't even know why?"