Ahmose in Rockeye's new urban fantasy world
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Ahmose sits in his parents' old bedroom, tinkering with his spell.

For today, the plan is to figure out why his spell refuses to behave like a "gate" is supposed to and go to other planes...

 

A few minutes later, Ahmose falls through a portal, with rather a lot of unwanted water.

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He appears to be in some sort of outdoor garden. The air is quite cool, especially compared to Sothis. There are flowerbeds in a lot of colors, the paths are are smooth stone. There's a lot of trees and grass, and a little pond, and bushes manicured into attractive shapes. The water spills out over the grass. It looks like it's late afternoon or early morning, the sun low. There's a metal sign with pictures of plants and a lot of words he can't read a little bit away, and a low rumbling sound somewhere off to his left.

There are a couple of people visible in the distance, across the pond looking curiously towards him. One is jogging in his direction.

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Plane Shift can land hundreds of miles off target, but this is clearly civilization! He made it back safely, and is one step closer to perfecting his spell!

He's tempted to quickly make another portal to escape attention, but it would be impolite to spill a lot of salt water on someone's garden and probably ruin the grass and then run away. Also, he's probably trespassing, and running away would leave the crime unaddressed. He'll wait for the person to approach him, apologize, try to pass it off as a weird Teleport accident, and offer to pay for the grass. ...He hopes he can afford it.

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It transpires that this person is: 

1. A foreign-looking woman

2. Wearing too few articles of clothing for proper Osiriani modesty, and what she is wearing is made of strange, colorful and shiny tight fabrics*

3. Speaking a language he does not recognize

She seems concerned more than angry, at least? Though she's definitely making faces at the flooded grounds. She motions with one arm, offering to help him up from the ground.

 

*Hot pink sweatpants, a blue sports bra that's visible through a sweaty white cami, a bright green bolero jacket, an arm-strap holding a smartphone, running shoes, and AirPods.

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It's a... woman... in a bright gauzy half-dress? Did he land in the pharaoh's harem? How do those earrings work, they look like earplugs - forget that, is she's trying to touch him?

"Eeek!" He gets up and backs away rapidly. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to come here! Should I go away, who should I talk to -"

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She backs off when he looks alarmed, looking more confused by the moment. She pulls her rectangle from its arm-holster and looks at it while trying a few more languages, haltingly. She yells at her friend across the pond, who starts jogging over himself. The pair then start arguing with each other, giving him and the salt water wary glances.

A few more people are approaching. One of them- A guy in jeans and with a leather jacket- Steps a bit closer and furtively mimes spellcasting at him questioningly- With hand signs and words that are obviously wrong, but are recognizable as an attempt.

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He can try... accented Taldane? A few words in Kelish? "Hello I am lost" in broken Vudrani?

 

Ahmose has no idea what words and gestures are or aren't valid spellcasting! He's only ever seen a few dozen spells, and there are probably thousands out there! And it might make sense to use wrong words when you're not actually trying to cast the spell, so you don't do it by accident. Also, he's not sure magical theory knows what spells are valid at all - never mind that, focus.

If the man is offering to cast a translation spell on him, he'll accept! (He's not agreeing to pay for it, though, it's a minor expense to a real Teleporting wizard but would cripple him.) He smiles, and offers the man his hand.

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Okay, so he'll take his hand and tug Ahmose down the path and away from the growing crowd. Jogger girl yells at leather-jacket-guy. Leather-jacket-guy yells back and waves his own rectangle.

Then he presses buttons on it- It lights up and the patterns change- And then holds it to his ear. He can hear a tinny voice coming from it as they have a conversation. Apparently a communication item.

And then... It seems like it's time to wait, here, slightly out of sight of the Incident Site? That's what jacket guy seems to be miming, anyway. He pulls a white towel out of his backpack and offers it to Ahmose, too, shrugging.

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"Thank you," he says, even though the other man can't understand him. He wipes his face and head, but his robe is dripping everywhere and won't stop until he has a chance to undress and wring it out. It's not too cold, so he ignores it and hopes he doesn't have to go indoors soon.

...he will wait for at least a few minutes. He's not in any real hurry and he can use the time to think.

 

What went wrong with his first portal? There was an explosive wind, like that one time he opened a portal chain far far up where there's no air, but there was air in the river he ended up in, and no more wind once he closed the portal... Yeah, he has no idea.

Where is he? A few hundred miles around his village could mean Osirion - he's not sure if Sothis is in range - or it could be north Katapesh, or maybe over the border in the Mwangi? They have more water there, a water-garden wouldn't necessarily belong to an incredibly rich person, just a very wealthy one. 

The sun is higher than he expected, which could mean he went east but more likely means he's really bad at keeping track of time when he's working.

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Jacket Guy looks tense and nervous, but also resigns to waiting for at least a few minutes.

Then a small, weird and obviously magical creature shows up, bounding nearly effortlessly and silently across the ground.

[Hi! I have telepathy!] It announces cheerfully.

Puchuu telepathy is both a voice babbling nonsense like 'puru purururu puruchu puchu puchuchu', and inexplicable understanding of what, actually, Puchuu is saying.

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Oh wow did they summon an outsider to talk to him? That must be so expensive he will be very polite and cooperative with the probably-very-rich people whose garden he intruded on.

[Greetings! I am very sorry for having accidentally intruded on your garden, it was something like a Teleport accident.] 

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[The garden belongs to the university, actually! I don't think it'll be a problem. It was an accident, right? We have to allow for this sort of thing happening sometimes. More importantly, as defenders of light and justice, we Puchuu and the Magical Girls we support are responsible for fighting the forces of evil and darkness, and helping all magical beings stay on the right path!]

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That sounds like... a Lawful Good outsider, probably? He's never heard of "puchuu" or "magical girls" but the rest fits.

[It was definitely an accident], he assures it (him?), [I was trying to go home in a - stressful situation and I ended up here instead. Where am I, please?]

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[This is Urbana-Champaign. The University of Illinois has a big campus here! The agricultural and engineering programs are ranked very highly! It's in Illinois, which is in the United States of America.]

Jacket Guy says something. The Puchuu tilts its head and looks at him for a bit. Then Jacket Guy nods stiffly.

[As Cute Guardians, Puchuu are primarily concerned with preventing the misuse of magic, so I have to warn you: Don't be evil, please!]

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Of course it's illegal to be evil in Heaven, and also this is very very scary!! Ahmose doesn't want to risk being evil by accident!!!

[I don't know what my alignment is, I'm not strong enough to detect. I... don't think I'm doing anything Evil right now... but I could be wrong about that. If you notice me doing or risking doing anything evil please tell me so I can stop!] There, that contained no actual lies.

[I didn't mean to come here and I would like to go back home. Which is in Osirion, on Golarion. That's a planet on the Material plane,] he adds, and oh wow that is not a sentence he expected to ever have to say.

[I intend to try going back using the same method I used to arrive here, but it didn't do what I expected last time, so this is... maybe risky. I don't want to be disruptive. Do you have advice for me? Is there somewhere I can go to try it without bothering anyone?]

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[That's very responsible of you! We'll be sure to let you know if you're being bad, but you haven't done anything evil so far. It was an accident, after all. My partner, Shining Black Lily, is on the way here. We can go out into the fields a little bit, or to a house we have juuuust in case, depending on what you think will happen. I don't think I recognize your magic, and I'm not familiar with Golarion.]

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Yeah, fair, Ahmose doesn't really recognize his own magic either.

[I'm not sure what will happen. I can open portals to places I can see and that works reliably. I was trying to do something new, open one to a different plane, and it got me to some river somewhere, and when I tried to go back I landed here instead. I don't know what will happen if I try to go home again, if it sent me here last time and I'm here already. If it fails I can try going somewhere new again but I'm not sure where would be better than here. Somewhere that can help me get home, but I don't know how I'd pay for a regular plane shift.] Or well, he does know - by mortgaging his future - and revealing his abilities to this outsider isn't *not* a hint that he's open to offers. If he's going to trade, he might as well trade with Heaven, probably?

[Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself! I'm called Ahmose.]

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Another young woman comes running through the garden, having debarked from a bus that's barely visible through the shrubberies. The bus rumbles as it moves on. This one has pale skin, black hair, and is at least wearing more, if in a clearly unfamiliar style.

[May my partner perform a little ritual to help you talk to people? I think it should last a day or two, long enough to look for more permanent fixes!]

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[Yes please!! - that is, I would be very grateful!] 

Also very reluctant to promise payment he can't afford, and he does want to pay people who help him back when he can, but he's not going to turn down help offered freely, just agonize about it for a little bit.

He's curious to see what ritual magic looks like! Is it not a spell?

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It looks like-

Well, first Shining Black Lily hugs jacket guy and kisses him once and they talk for a bit.

Then it looks like her digging a bunch of things out of her backpack and starting to arrange them around Ahmose. Scissors, needles, an empty cup, a candle holder and candle, a book. And then, a long dark wooden staff with a silver orb and sapphires decorating the top that can't have fit in that little bag.

She stands over the scissors and starts chanting in a slow, melodic voice.

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Ah, some things never change! Ahmose is obscurely comforted to know even ritual wizards use staves and bags of holding, just like spell-wizards like him. (Not that he could ever afford a bag of holding or a magical staff, but it's something he can aspire to, unlike the ritual use of scissors.)

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She moves from item to item as the chant continues, and then after a few minutes there's a ringing sound sort of like a bell. 

"There we go. Finally. Jasper, you do know I have a test to study for, right?" She gripes.

[This was important!]

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Oh wow sourceless language knowledge magic is so so cool!! And so obviously useful and valuable, unlike cutting holes in people opening a portal to the wrong place!

"Thank you!" He introduces himself again to the non-telepathic people.

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"Yeah, no problem. Well, small problem. Freaking ME 310... Sigh." She actually pronounces 'sigh' instead of just sighing. "But hey, you're caught up in some kind of something- Accidental portal Jasper said? So that does need addressing. I guess. Even though I'm supposed to be retired from active Puchuu work."

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"I would be grateful for any help but I'm not sure how you could help me." He repeats what he told Jasper. "Unless you can send me home yourself. I don't know what else to try, other than opening a portal again. And trying to figure out where it leads, if it's not home, and why."

"But, uh, you don't have to help me! If you're doing something important. Helping me probably isn't urgent. Um." He trails off.

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"Oh, it's not like this test is thaaat important either. If I really had to, Jasper would get them to let me reschedule." She picks up the puchuu and hugs it tightly. The puchuu accepts this in good grace.

"So we just need me around to smack face if needed and keep anyone from interfering?"

[Yes! I think we can use the house for this.]

"And maybe to clean up the garden?" Jacket guy interjects. "I don't think salt's good for flowers. By the way, glad you're okay, man. But I might scoot. Kinda stings to be around magic stuff when I can't have any."

[I've spoken to another Puchuu about that, and they're going to fix the salt!]

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