This post has the following content warnings:
monsters get afterlife trials too (new D&D setting)
Permalink

Life as a troglodyte is nasty, brutish, and, as Zekt can now testify, short. 

Troglodytes are a species of subterranean lizard-like humanoids native to the Material Plane. They have language—with a pheromonal element as well as a spoken one—and in the last few centuries they’ve invented a basic writing system that’s just starting to develop from single pictograms into something with grammar. They’re intelligent enough to understand Good and Evil, Law and Chaos. They have an alignment (usually Chaotic Evil) and, like the other native sapients of this plane, an immortal soul. Therefore, when they die, they are judged and placed in one of the four afterlives. 

Zekt was born to two troglodytes of the Paletooth tribe, which dwelt in a cave network beneath the western end of the Snowcap Mountains. She was one of two survivors of her clutch, the two of them having killed and eaten first their fellow hatchling, then the unhatched eggs, within hours of their birth. Their parents did nothing to stop them; they had nothing else to feed their starving newborns. 

The Paletooth tribe was neither large nor well-equipped, even by the standards of troglodytes. Some tribes might have a handful of metal tools and weapons looted from past victims, but not this one. Troglodytes don’t have the tools, knowledge base, or labour force to mine and smelt ore. The only money they have is, again, looted from the travellers they kill, which makes traders reluctant to deal with them for fear they, too, will be killed and eaten. They’re limited to flint and bone. 

Zekt’s most prized possession was a bone knife given to her by her mother, which had been made by her mother. The bone it was carved from had belonged to Zekt’s great-grandfather. One particularly long and cold winter, Zekt used it to slit open her mother’s belly while she slept, and devoured her still-warm organs. 

Troglodytes are obligate carnivores. They don’t farm livestock: for one, livestock animals do not tend to thrive underground, and troglodytes cannot stand the glare of sunlight; and for another, an animal you keep alive so it can breed and give you more animals later is one you can’t eat now, when you and your children are starving. Instead, troglodytes are hunters, scavengers, and—as may be obvious at this point—cannibals. 

Even in summer, there’s never quite enough food to go around. In winter, when the average troglodyte tribe can scrounge enough to stretch to half the tribe if everyone tightens their metaphorical belts, even the tightest-run operation will have people glancing at each other and muttering about dead weight—and it’s not a huge leap from ‘dead weight’ to ‘dead meat’. The three most common causes of death among troglodytes are disease, starvation, and other troglodytes. 

Zekt, at her death, was that rarest of rarities: a fat troglodyte. Not fat by the standards of more comfortable societies, perhaps, but she had enough meat on her bones that you couldn’t see where the bones were, and a little more to spare. 

Over the course of her life, she participated in killing and eating twenty-seven travellers who passed too close to the Paletooth tribe’s lair after dark. One was pregnant; another had young children at home who subsequently froze to death. Zekt also personally killed and ate eleven of her tribemates, ambushing most of them in their sleep, including her mother and three of her siblings. She never had children, so there is no way to know whether she would have eaten them just as readily. 

She was killed in her sleep by her cousin, L’thetik. She was fifteen. 

Like most troglodytes who bother with the gods at all, Zekt’s parents dedicated her to Ota, the Mother Storm, in a ceremony a few days after her birth. Ota is Chaotic Evil, which means that, unless there are strong indications to the contrary, anyone dedicated to her goes to the Maelstrom, the Chaotic Evil afterlife.

Total: 69
Posts Per Page:
Permalink

Zekt's immortal soul, separated from her body, drifts through the Astral Plane and is collected up, with all the rest of the souls of the dead, in the Halls of Judgment, the waiting area of the afterlives. 

It's a dreamlike, indistinct place. She is a ball of light, drifting among other balls of light. Most of them are other newly-dead souls; some of them are staff. 

Permalink

The Halls of Judgment are the domain of Zarias, the True Neutral god of truth and balance. He is in charge of judging every soul that passes through His halls and sorting them into Lawful Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Evil, and Chaotic Evil. No fence-sitting allowed. 

To judge someone properly, of course, you have to know them. This is why Zarias watches every living, thinking being on the Material Plane, recording every action they take that affects their alignment.

In the Halls of Judgment, there is a library: rows upon silent rows of shelves lined with the black spines of books, each spine bearing a name. Every book in that library is a record of a single life. Some of them are quite long. Some of them are very short. A few, comparatively speaking, are still being written.

Permalink

Hundreds of people die every single day, and Zarias is far too busy to adjudicate every single case Himself. So He delegates. His psychopomps are drawn from the ranks of the recently dead, offered the choice between going straight to their assigned afterlife or staying in the Halls of Judgment to serve Him for a while first. 

In life, Livie was a hobgoblin. She died five years ago, sorted Lawful Good at trial, and accepted an offer to work for the Judge. Now she's a caseworker. She pulls the next book off the New Arrivals shelf and starts reading.

Zekt of the Paletooth tribe, troglodyte, age 15. Birth dedication Chaotic Evil, never overridden by a dedication to a different god. Lots of murder and cannibalism. (Livie is fairly inured to reading about murder at this point, but cannibalism is rare enough that it still makes her shudder.) No sign that the deceased ever particularly cared for anyone other than herself. Looks pretty open-and-shut to Livie. 

She puts in for a default judgment of Chaotic Evil. Anyone who wants to file an objection has ten days to do so. 

Permalink

Lawful Good is the alignment of believing everyone deserves protection. However, it's also the alignment of the good of the many outweighing the needs of the few. The City of Light only has so many advocates, and they only have so much time. If they tried to fight every case, they'd lose most of them, burn out all their advocates much faster, and end up saving fewer souls overall. They know this because they used to try doing that, and they did statistics about it. Numerically, it's better to only fight the cases they have a decent chance of winning. 

Vitalia, a low-level assistant for the Lawful Good legal team, reads Zekt's case file. Looks like a long shot, and honestly people from that sort of background tend to do better in the Chaotic afterlives anyway. She sends back Standard Form #2-2 to say that the City of Light does not wish to contest the judgment in this case. 

Then she sends two notes with a standard wording to the Neutral Good and Chaotic Good offices indicating that her team thinks their teams should take a look at this one. 

Permalink

Someone on the Chaotic Good legal team checks their internal mail.

Chaotic Good is the alignment of believing everyone deserves to live free from oppression. They believe in giving people choices when they can. The Twilight Woods has an abundance of people willing to sacrifice a few hours for the sake of this principle, and somewhat fewer people willing to sacrifice a few months or years to learn the case law. They send someone to every case that goes to trial, although they're not always a trained advocate.

A few centuries back, a devil on the Lawful Evil legal team sued them in the appeals court, complaining that the Twilight Woods always contested every case where the default judgment wasn't Chaotic Good to begin with, even when they didn't actually have an argument for the deceased being Chaotic Good. The Twilight Woods got a stern warning against wasting the court's time with frivolous suits. 

So they stopped contesting every single case. Nowadays, they ask the deceased first and only file an objection if they say yes. That's totally different and not frivolous.

Permalink

Meanwhile, Livie goes to find Zekt. They don't have any languages in common, but that's what Tongues is for.  

"Zekt? Hi, I'm Livie, your caseworker. Has anyone explained to you what's going on yet?" 

Livie is a naked soul in the form of a ball of light, just like Zekt. She doesn't mind going around without a body when nobody else around here has one either, and she finds that being in the same state as the people she's talking to can help with rapport. 

Permalink

"You mean the part where I'm dead and this is the Halls of Judgment?" says Zekt, who still thinks of herself as a corporeally embarrassed troglodyte rather than a ball of light. "Yeah, I got that bit. Don't remember how I died, though, and the other guy didn't know." 

Permalink

"Not remembering is pretty expected, since you were killed in your sleep. By—"

Livie checks her case notes. "Your cousin, uh, L’thetik?" 

Permalink

"Huh. Well, good eating to him, I guess. So what now?" 

Permalink

That's the calmest reaction Livie's ever seen anyone have to being told they were murdered by a family member, but she's not about to complain. Maybe it's normal for Zekt's culture? 

"Well, I'm here to make sure you know what your options are and help you put in a request for a specific afterlife if you'd like to do that. How much do you know about the afterlives?" 

Permalink

"...I didn't think I got to pick. Isn't there a whole thing where the Judge weighs my heart and decides where I'm supposed to go?" 

Permalink

"It's a little more complicated than that. You don't get to pick, exactly, but we take your preferences into account. For example, if you want to go somewhere other than where you're headed, that's a reason for a judge to look at your case more thoroughly and see if they can justify letting you go there instead."

Something occurs to her. "—and, uh, just to be clear, the heart-weighing is a metaphor. There are no bodily organs involved in this process." 

Permalink

Zekt snorts. "Well, that's good, because I don't think mine exist anymore. Where am I headed, anyway, do you know yet?" 

Permalink

"The Maelstrom. If you have questions about what it's like there, or about any of the other afterlives, I can fill you in. Some of them will probably send representatives to talk to you soon, as well." 

Permalink

"Most people go to the Maelstrom, right? Or most of the people I know, anyway." She hesitates. "Do you know where my parents are? Or Sortoosk?" 

Permalink

"It's actually pretty even, on a population level—um, if you give me their names, and their birth and death dates as precisely as you know them, I can look it up for you?" 

Permalink

Zekt can give Livie her parents' names. She knows what year they were each born and what season they each died in; she doesn't have a way to track more precise dates than that. Sortoosk is Zekt's twin brother; he was born the same day as Zekt and died in winter two years ago.

"...can you look up Haldet as well?" she asks before she can chicken out of it. "She was...no, it doesn't matter." 

Permalink

"If it's important to you, of course it matters," Livie says briskly. "Four names won't take me much longer than three. Was she...a friend of yours? Another relative?" 

Permalink

"...friend. Yeah."

(Zekt had a hopeless crush on Haldet for two years before getting up the courage to say anything about it, at which point Haldet quite reasonably pointed out that they were both girls and couldn't mate and have babies, so there wasn't much point. Haldet was killed by an adventurer later that season. Zekt couldn't have said with any certainty which event she was more upset about.) 

Haldet was a member of the Paletooth tribe like Zekt, and she was born in this season and died in this other season. 

Permalink

"I can look all of those up for you today and tell you where they were sent," Livie promises. "Do you want me to do that next, or do you have more questions for me first?"

Permalink

"If you go do that I might have thought of some questions by the time you get back," Zekt suggests. 

Permalink

"Sounds good to me. I'll come back when I've found the records you want; it might take me a few hours." 

Livie heads back to the library.

Requests like Zekt's are common, as is the level of precision she gave for the births and deaths, so the system is set up to make finding the people she's looking for relatively easy. The life records are arranged on the shelves chronologically by their time of death, but there's a whole second library of reference books that sort by various other methods depending on what information you have, so Livie doesn't have to look through four entire years' worth of shelves. 

Livie finds the reference section that sorts by death year, birth year, and name. All of the people she's looking for died in the last decade, so she only needs the most recent meta-reference book. Using a couple of pages per year, it lists all the birth years of people who died in that year and tells her which reference book to check next for each of them. Following its instructions, she looks through another four reference books for the names—sorted by writing system and then alphabetically, with names in writing systems that don't have their own internal ordering of symbols (like Zekt's) sorted alphabetically according to their Celestial transliteration.  

Some time later, but not nearly as long as it might have taken her in a less thoughtfully arranged library, Livie is looking for Haldets with the right birth and death years to be Zekt's Haldet. There are six in this book. Luckily, they have tribe names listed as well, and there's only one Paletooth. She writes down the shelf listing next to the three she's already found, puts the reference book back where she found it, and heads into the record stacks. 

Permalink

Meanwhile, a blue blur zooms towards Zekt and becomes a 2-foot-tall blue-skinned person. 

"Hi I'm Kaolin from the Twilight Woods legal team can we talk?" he says, very fast. 

Permalink

"Uh." Is it an emergency or is this person just like this?

"Sure?" 

Permalink

Kaolin is constantly in motion, fidgeting from one foot to the other like standing still is physically painful to him. 

"I talk fast so tell me if I need to slow down or repeat something!" he says, equally quickly. "Chaotic Good is the alignment of thinking everyone should have options so we want to give you the option to come to the Twilight Woods! Would you like that?"

Total: 69
Posts Per Page: