Even Monoceros and her penchant for depositing things (a sausage! A piece of chicken and a waffle to go with it! Seconds on the kouign-amann but this one is strawberry creme inside!) on Katie's plate cannot actually demolish this entire buffet. When she gives the signal goons start lining up to take from whatever's left.

Katie lifts herself up and waddles for the door. "Ring me for lunch. Or just when you want some quality time, sweet thighs." She couldn't decide whether to say "sweet cheeks" or "thunder thighs" and they accidentally got mashed together.

"Oh, you'll know when I want you, caramel cutie. Good job finishing breakfast without any pink stuff. If you can do the same thing at lunch I'll give you a prize."

"Do I get to know what it is?"

"Only if you earn it!"

"Very well then." She proceeds down the hall to her room and opens up Eris again

back

guys breakfast was SO GOOD

SO SO GOOD

i ate so much and i didn't even need her to inject me with any of the weird pink stuff to make me digest faster!

and i feel so... nourished

like before even when my tummy wasn't actively gnawing at me i almost always felt that sense of like, all my bones being made of lead you get from hunger

but now it's like that weight has been lifted

ironically

my thoughts feel clearer

i should be lethargic from eating so much and i kinda do but i also kinda have more energy than usual, if that makes sense

i feel like between this and the abundance of free time i might be able to actually do stuff now like you guys have been nagging me to for the past bajillion years

like learn one of the like 8 languages i've been meaning to

or do pushups on the floor until i get those korra avatar biceps i've always wanted

for all of like 10 minutes before they get swallowed up by flab

pithy: yay for doing stuff!
spirulinagalaxy: sorry for the upthread backscroll we got on a sidetrack about what geopolitics would be like if captain stellar had landed in the 1500s
spirulinagalaxy: are you doing any of the things or just feeling enthusiastic about them from a safe distance
grape_fruit: was breakfast, also, 12 courses, or does she eat cheerios like the rest of us

@spirulinagalaxy not yet I JUST GOT BACK FROM BREAKFAST gimmie a minute

@grapefruit there weren't really courses, it was a big buffet of a million little things like at a hotel except they were all super nice and fancy

blinkenlights: *walks in an hour late with starbucks* whoa k got kidnapped by monoceros
blinkenlights: did not have that on the bingo card
spirulinagalaxy: that actually sounds nice, does she let you have friends over for brunch or
Mezzopiano: please tell me you wouldn't actually go over for brunch at a supervillain lair spi
spirulinagalaxy: lol no husbando would puppy eyes me into the dimension of torment

@blinkenlights yeah it's pretty great she's fattening me up to grow magic space pearls in me. not a joke dead fucking serious i stg i am not making this up.

blinkenlights: pics or it didn't happen. instagram your lunch k
blinkenlights: what does she want magic space pearls for

idk they give some canadian supe his powers. also wait shit i still haven't gotten my phone back. presumably she'll give it to me if she's letting me have a computer and then i will. read the backscroll and look at the fucking meal i had last night.

blinkenlights: "look at", she says
blinkenlights: read a list of
blinkenlights: I require the candlelight glistening off the oil in the sauce and shit, k
spirulinagalaxy: dude lay off her

@blinkenlights i'll do my best. oh yeah my cat is here too so i should probably get some pictures of him too if i can.

grape_fruit: she let you bring your cat? wow
pithy: it must be lurve
Mezzopiano: pithy.......

i mean yeah of fucking course she did you think i'd be fucking a lady who'd let my cat starve?

unicorn: do you really want us to... answer that...
unicorn: like, considering....
Mezzopiano: how does your kitty like it in the lair?

Idk yet. She said she had him quarantined for a bit to make sure he doesn't have any diseases or something and I'd see him after breakfast. soon hopefully.

(The cat has been fed and deposited outside the lab and left to explore on his own recognizance. How soon Katie sees him will depend largely on whether he's trying to track her down by sniffing around.)

guys hold on i hear meowing

She opens the door. Albrecht Wenzel Eusebius von Wallenstein has arrived. His expression instantly calms at her presence. She picks him and carries him into the bedroom.

"Hello! Hello fat fuck! Hello big baby boy! Hello sweet creature!" She kisses him on the forehead and sits back down with him in her lap.

cat obtained

spirulinagalaxy: how is he??
blinkenlights: pics! pics! cat pic tax!

@spirulinagalaxy he seems very agitated from being taken by strangers and brought a long distance to an unfamiliar environment but he's very happy to see me

DM to monoceros: ok i understand if not, letting me take pics of your lair might be bad opsec, but my friends are requesting cat pics and i don't wanna let them down. you've seen him right. that is a face that deserves to be shared with the world.

depict your cat to your heart's content, creamsicle

you haven't given my phone back

The goons put it in your room with your books and shit! Ask the nearest goon if you can't find it