"Too bad. They suit you. I bet she wears a shirt, too?"

"Well, typically, but she's an Elf so I don't think she'd consider it remarkable not to, it's the unbraided hair Elves've gotta watch out for."

"I have met some. Did you have any questions or were you just curious whose wings were prettier?"

"I didn't even know you had wings. I'm curious how you talked your way out of lockup."

"Said I'd be good. Meant it."

"I suppose that would probably do the trick."

"I also hadn't done much to begin with. Dunno if it would have done the trick for Melkor."

"All I knew about you besides what the orcs said was technically about alternate universe instances."

"Is that so. What are they getting up to, places where the Valar make this set look good?"

"One of them is a kind of Arda where everything is flatter and magicaler and closer together, and an alternate universe version of me there has gone through Angband - Utumno's successor - and does not like the you he met there because she keeps impersonating his spouse. And there's an Arda shaped more like this one where Melkor while on parole managed to forcibly demagic everything and assassinate Eru in the process and the you and the Sauron have kids."

"How do they do it -"

"There's this other world that is very aggressively nonmagical."

"Sauron must be so happy." She sounds fond. "You should ask the you if there are any moments-he-experienced with me running them which he'd trade for anyone else's attention."

"I'm pretty sure the answer to that, phrased that way, is no, but he isn't glad they have anyone capable of convincing him his husband is doing the sorts of things hallucination characters are inclined towards."

"I don't pull that shit. Didn't even when I was doing contract work for Melkor, I mean. His fake husband is perfectly nice, promise."

"This includes 'divorcing him', he's very touchy about thinking his husband is divorcing him."

"He might possibly have sensibilities too delicate for Angband."

"I don't know, he did manage to avoid accumulating weird phobias and his sense of sarcasm is intact. Maybe when he's had longer to decompress he will be positively grateful to your alt for the relative comfort of rape-by-fraud or something."

"Doesn't want a pretend divorce, doesn't want a not-divorce. Has he told her how he feels about this, I think communication really helps a relationship."

"No, whenever he was aware of being in Angband he managed not to have higher level cognition online."

"Well. You can send him my love and tell him his real hubby is a lucky man."

"I will keep this option in reserve."

"How about you, single?"

"Boyfriend."

"The one on the shore? He can join us."