I want another try. I want to - pretend I'd said -

He takes his hand.

"I owe you an apology. Not for the obvious thing, we'll get to that in a little, I - owe you an apology because I could have stopped the war a week earlier and saved a thousand lives and I didn't. You would have. I thought I was the sort of person who would have. I was reaching for it, all week, and falling short, and I hadn't known that about myself, I hadn't known that I wouldn't be able to do it. And maybe that'd be forgivable if I was just categorically the kind of person who couldn't assassinate people I love for the sake of peace but I am that kind of person, I did it, I just didn't do it soon enough, I'm so sorry."

- why is it exactly that you don't want me to move -

I was getting all distracted by how you'd react and I realized I was going to take a Year to get around to it and - this way you can't react and I don't have to plan for reactions, problem solved.

You're appallingly bad at problem-solving.

"I love you. That's - couldn't say it if you were going to be able to make faces at me, and I wanted to say it, I do think it matters - this was specifically and individually about you, I wanted you so badly that I compromised everything else I wanted to have as firm a grasp on you as I could, and then I wanted to spend forever understanding you better, poking things to see which ones held other ones up, holding you to the fire to see at what temperature you burned. - I am appallingly bad at problem-solving and I got what I wanted anyway and I was thinking of that as 'well, I'm good enough at it' but if I'd been actually good at it you could have had things you wanted, too - Findekáno, I'm sorry -

- and it's not very meaningful - if I'm not going to change anything - I'm done beating you because it's fascinating and I'm done with the mind control and so I guess I could coherently apologize just for those but that seems kind of pathetic. So it seemed like it had to be all or nothing, give it all up so I can give you an apology for all of it or - just - limp - on -

- and back before there were other considerations in the mix, an empire and a war, but now that these are the only considerations I am not sure what it means to say 'I love you' if not that I'll give it all away so that I can tell you I'm sorry, and so that you can be safe.

I've been trying to - arrange my head without you. So that you don't have to worry about keeping me functional. I am not there, but I'll get there, in less than three hundred fifty years, and we don't have to open the door until I do. All the things that matter to you are going to be fine and I love you and I won't give you orders anymore and you can blame Ambela for this being so disorganized, I wanted to wait until I had a way to do it gracefully but I wasn't generating ways to do it gracefully, just running headfirst into reminders that - 

- that I could have been someone you loved -"

You were someone I loved.

And now I'm someone else. You're free to go.

He packs his computer and his pencils and a change of clothes.

Promise you won't hurt anyone else.

"I swear I won't have relationships with anyone which, fully informed, you'd want to interfere in."

He shakes his head.

He leaves his things.

He goes outside and sings.

Ambela finds him a bit later and sits down.

Hello. Need anything?

I'm fine. How are you?

A bit at loose ends. I miss my family but it's not worth having the door open that long.

If we figure out a goldmage cheat maybe they can go fetch people. I suppose my versions wouldn't do it.

It's not quite the same, but - kind of you.

Do let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

Does that extend to 'lock him in his room for a century'?

You may feel free to tell me about this desire but I can't promise to accomplish it.

I want - something to happen such that afterwards we can say 'all right, you did a bad thing and you suffered the consequences of it and now that's done'. I think he'd agree to that, if it's what I wanted. But I don't have any talent for or any particular comfort with inflicting misery on people.

What would be the added value of inflicting consequences beyond what's already happened?

I just said. It would mean we could move past it.

I'm just not clear on how it contributes to the result.

Do you think I should have already forgiven him?

I don't have a strong opinion on that and still wouldn't if you locked him in his room for a hundred years.