"What reaction can he possibly have been hoping for with either of his less charming remarks?"

"Curious what the dynamic between us was."

"Oh? What does it look like when viewed through Creep Goggles?"

"Uh, I have obviously found people with some new source of power so one of - they now control me, via magic or people I'm fond of or just ability to offer very strong incentives to cooperate - or I now control them, probably via magic but maybe you have a secret weakness or something - or we're allied, in which case what I'm getting out of it is obviously unimaginable power but what you get out of it is unclear, wouldn't just be sex..."

"I get half-hour compliment monologues, obviously."

"Some people are insufficiently imaginative about the sources of power available to me. But anyway, you check that by checking - are you supervising me or protecting me, do you care about me more than instrumentally, are you jealous of him -"

"Please tell me I read a clear no on jealousy, if I ever wake up one day and am pleased to have anything Creep is pleased with himself for having in the way he's pleased to have it send me to the poppy gardens."

"You did not come across as jealous, no. If when we met you'd wanted something for giving us Mars and medicine and summoning I really wouldn't have held it against you but now if you pull that I promise to promptly inform everyone that you are being impersonated."

"Thank you."

"Possibly not Kib. I'll inform everyone who thinks you're real in the first place." Kiss. "You keep mentioning the compliments but I have not actually given you a half hour of compliments since that day. Can this thing drive itself?"

"It may get confused close to Hogwarts. And the trip doesn't take half an hour."

"Okay, okay. I will take the time to come up with them."

"It'll be best without interruptions." Wag wag.

"And without distractions so you shall have to stop wagging your tail."

"What happens if I forget myself and there is a wag at minute twelve?"

"I shall have to begin all over. If you are too wiggly I might never reach the end."

"Oh no! I would never find out what the last thing you appreciated was."

"It wouldn't get boring, though, I could vary the emphasis and the turns of phrase. And add dramatic illustrative smoke signals."

"Oooooh."

They go back. They close the door. He congratulates Theodore on his potions theft successes. 

"I should get underway on a potions curriculum."

"You should. You should take Felix before you go kill an evil god, if it doesn't wear off after a few seconds."

"There's really no reason it ought to do that if I don't want it to."

"Polyjuice did but it was affecting how you looked, your indestructibility seems finicky about that."

"I was trying not to turn into Miranda."