"If you can get ahold of one. I still don't want to leave the bar into another world."

"Might have a hard time talking one into Hogwarts. Shall we go leave a tab for the people saving up for vaccinations and crops -"

"Yes, it was a lovely idea. Just got distracted."

"It was very distracting." Clothes!

Oh gosh clothes! "To go with the braiding thing Elves also have no nudity taboo, if the bar conformed to their standards it would require braids but not clothes. I discovered this when I was looking for what things people on Valinor were enjoying from the library of Hell, they liked some of the softcore porn as long as the models had their hair up." Downstairs!

"They took issue with the porn that they actually found erotic?"

"Prudes," Cam explains. "They immediately censored any porn they couldn't interpret as portraiture, and shampoo commercials."

He bursts into giggles. "That's adorable."

"I know, right? They liked music without lyrics; our lyrics lasted only till each song was translsted. And alphabet books, A is for apple and so on."

" - I assume there are books for people older than three in Revelation that aren't pornographic."

"The Elves don't like to read about antisocial behavior."

"Aaaand I'm back to being super glad I'm not an Elf. Wow. No wonder none of them have any coping skills and they fail to think what could go wrong about swearing to kill anyone who steals your Silmarils."

"Yep. I mean they have great aesthetics and astonishingly low crime rates but it'd be very hard to hold a movie night with them." He drops a heap of cash on Bar. "For the mages. - Oh hey I haven't made you watch Atriama yet."

"Ooooh!"

"It is my favorite thing and you have to like it."

"Oh? What if I think it's terribly tedious? Is that it, will you never speak to me again?"

"I'd probably try a different performance of it first in case you just didn't like that director or something."

Giggle. Kiss. "Perhaps we'd have to summon the whole cast for a live performance."

"Whenever somebody sufficiently professional to advertise puts it on I try to go see it but my favorite one was a very limited run while I was on a summons that ran long. At least they recorded it, demons are good about recording things."

"What sort of things tend to make a summon run long - what do people in Revelation even summon daeva to do -"

"Early days of space colonization, they had me fuel a ship to Mars - they didn't want to rely solely on a fairy, could've quit in the middle and you can't summon in zero gravity so they'd have been stranded till mission control could send them a new one, I was backup. I really thought they might let me terraform it when we got there. Nope."

"It's kind of infuriating how thickheaded they are about daeva when they're so precious about everything else. I suppose the Elves will get on splendidly with them."

"They're precious about different things and humans are higher variance."

"I really want updates from Maitimo on how that's going. Too bad about the time thing."

"It's mostly convenient, just not there in particular. I can go hold the door some more."