"What's Quidditch?"

"Oh, it's the coolest sport ever! I guess you wouldn't have that, huh—okay so there are seven players: three chasers, two beaters, one keeper, and one seeker. You play on broomsticks—tell me if I get confusing—"

"I think I understand so far."

"Okay so there's one ball, the Quaffle, which the chasers pass around. There are three hoops for each team and the keeper protects them but if a chaser manages to throw the quaffle through one of the other team's hoops then they score ten points."

"Ok."

"Then there's the bludgers, two of them, they're metal balls and the beaters use bats to throw them at other players, but they also go after players on their own."

"—that sounds dangerous."

"Not really—I mean, sometimes people break bones but people almost never die playing Quidditch."

"Almost never?"

"Yeah. I don't know how often but it hasn't happened in a few years."

"Alright."

"And then there's the most important player, the seeker, who has to catch the golden snitch—it's a tiny golden ball that flies and runs away, and the game ends when the seeker catches it. It's worth one hundred fifty points."

"—what?! That's the most badly designed position I've ever heard of!"

"Well you don't have to play if you don't want to."

"How many points are usually scored before the game ends?"

"Seventy to a hundred and twenty, I guess?"

"Is that for school games or professional leagues?"

"School games, the Cup sometimes gets up to three hundred but that's rare."

"Would the same team usually win if you ignored points scored by the chasers? I think that's Dayo's worry."

"Er. Sometimes? Most of the time."

"That seems kinda weird then."

"You don't have to play either!"

"Oh, I'm totally gonna, evil metal balls are my thing."

"I don't think I was going to play regardless. I'm not really a sports person."

"Huh. Okay."