Sarah rubs her eyes and then gets dressed before hurrying to the kitchen. "What do you need this morning Aunt Petunia?" Her voice is carefully level.

Aunt Petunia purses her lips, looking her over from head to toe when she exits the cupboard under the stairs, then says, "I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."

"Yes Aunt Petunia, I'll take care of it." She stands on a chair and handles the pan carefully.

The table's almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looks as though Dudley has gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike. Exactly why Dudley wants a racing bike is left as an exercise to the reader.

Sarah's Uncle Vernon enters the kitchen as she's turning over the bacon. He ignores her, content to sit on a chair, engulfing it with his backside, and read his newspaper.

She finishes the bacon and serves it out onto plates. She leaves aside a small amount for herself.

Her cousin walks into the kitchen with Aunt Petunia a while later, and, after making sure Sarah doesn't have as many eggs as he does, starts counting his presents, with a huge smile on his face.

Then it falls. "Thirty-six," he says, looking up at his parents. "That's two less than last year."

"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mommy and Daddy."

 "All right, thirty-seven then," says Dudley, going red in the face.

Sarah carefully doesn't roll her eyes and sets to eating her breakfast, she's fast but takes care to use proper manners as she's doing it.

No one's paying attention to Sarah; all their attention is dedicated to preventing Dudley from exploding.

"And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?"

Dudley squints and furrows his brows in concentration, then says slowly, "So I'll have thirty... thirty..."

"Thirty-nine, sweetums."

"Oh," he says, sitting back down heavily and grabbing the nearest parcel. "All right, then."

Crisis averted, Vernon chuckles and ruffles Dudley's hair. "Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!"

The phone rings, and Petunia goes to answer it.

And Dudley starts unwrapping the presents.

Well then, Sarah finishes her breakfast and starts doing the dishes.

Dudley proceeds to unwrap a racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR. He's ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch—

—when Petunia comes back from the telephone looking angry and worried. "Bad news, Vernon. Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take her," she says, gesturing vaguely in Sarah's direction.

Sarah carefully doesn't look interested and keeps washing the dishes.

Dudley's mouth falls open in horror.

"Now what?" she asks, looking frustratedly at Sarah, as if this was somehow her fault.

Look at Sarah focusing on the dishes. If the silence stretches for a minute she'll turn around.

We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggests before a minute's passed.

"Perhaps... but oh no, she's working today."