This is hilarious. He wants to tell the Spirit that he didn't mean it literally but actually? Actually? He digs it. He absolutely digs it. He loves that the Spirit literally turned him into Astolfo. He starts giggling and he giggles in a very girly way and for a moment this is kind of dysphoric and then he rememebers he is Astolfo and it is no longer dysphoric at all and is all the way back to being hilarious.

He grabs his phone—he still has a phone, good, and it is his phone, his family and friends are still there and pictures and all that—and looks at himself.

...okay this is bizarre, actually. Not the part where it's not his normal face, he was mostly braced for that, but the part where he's—anime but not? Like, his eyes are informing him that he's anime, he's definitely being drawn, he's not 3D and realistic, but his brain is insisting that this is a normal human person there. He tries to peer at the edges between his animeness and the nature of the rest of the environment around himself and if he tries really really hard and pays a ton of attention he can notice the incongruence but mostly it just looks normal, in a weird way where it's not normal at all. Except it is.

He wonders if other people would even be able to notice that he's anime or if the metanarrative would make them not. If he were to guess at how this works, it'd be that people would mostly not notice and would continue not to notice until he pointed out and then they would. That seems like a sensible way for this to work, in his opinion. It's a little bit of mind control but, like, not really? It's more like perception control, and it's not making anyone believe in things that are false or act in ways that they normally wouldn't, he thinks, probably. Or, well, if he were designing the way this works that would be how it does, and since he is who he is and the powers are what they are he is now certain that that is in fact how they work. Good enough for him, and lets the author or animator or whatever not have to worry about trying to turn him into a realistic version of Astolfo. He bets that'd have been hard or expensive.

But also: he doesn't like the braid. Everything else is Gucci but the braid has to go, it's actually irritating and inconvenient to have something this long and heavy attached to his head. So with the sureness that only a Mary Sue can have, he runs his fingers through his hair just as the braid is off-camera and then it is gone. Now he just has cute animegirl not-quite-shoulder length pink hair and everything is fine.

Next item on the menu: where the heck is he?

In a bar, with no bartender,

and exploding stars out the window.

...huh. He's... alone? In a magic bar of some kind? And... no door? No door. There are stairs?

"Hmm, now would be a narratively appropriate moment for whatever is going to happen next, I'm done with the navel gazing."

A napkin appears out of nowhere on the bar.

"Excellent, thank you." He walks over to the bar to look at the napkin.

Welcome! First drink is free, can I get you anything?

Another talking inanimate object. He did not expect that.

"Should I assume you're able to hear me or should I be writing?" he asks, settling on a stool.

I can hear you just fine, I just write instead of speaking aloud myself. A new napkin, appearing atop the first one, slightly askew so he can see the corners of the first.

"Oh! So you're not the napkin. Are you, uh, the whole bar, or an invisible bartender, or...?"

I'm the bar. Call me Bar.

"It's nice to meet you, Bar! I'm Peter. As for the first drink, I'll... have a menu actually, that would be the smart thing to do rather than assuming you'll just have whatever it was I wanted to order."

Oh, I definitely have whatever you wanted to order unless it was a menu. I don't get along with the concept of menus.

"—really?" he says, sounding delighted to his own ears. He's going to need to get used to that. "Well now I think I'll want... a strawberry and banana smoothie from that one place I always get it from—actually I'm just assuming you'll know the one I mean, should I specify in more detail?"

Voilà.

Oh excellent and he doesn't even need to worry about his figure.

"Thank you! So, what's this place, why are there exploding stars outside?"

It's called Milliways, and they're decorative!

"Wait, Milliways as in the bar at the end of the universe from the Hitchhiker's Guide?"

The name isn't a coincidence but I couldn't tell you precisely how. I will not serve you a cow that was bred to want to be eaten.

"I don't actually remember enough, or didn't remember enough, about the original one to remember that anecdote but yeah no thank you.

"And what's the deal, here? I assume there must be a reason I got sent here of all places."

I couldn't begin to speculate what brings you here today. You didn't come through the door, which puts you in a minority, but doesn't shed much light on the situation.