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The only thing that sucks more than the Scholomance is not going to the Scholomance
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"Maybe you should try to impress Yahontov instead."

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"I might as well try to jump into a vat of acid for all the success I'm likely to have."

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"You haven't tried. Maybe you'll surprise me."

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"Show him your athame," snorts Yvette. "Oh, damn. That was a perfect opening for an innuendo, wasn't it, and I didn't even capitalize on it..."

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"Oh but I've already showed it to him, remember? At the workshop the other day? You were there, too."

He is capitalizing on the innuendo, now.

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Alexei is blushing horribly, now, too, but he'll forge on valiantly. "It doesn't count if you didn't make it. ...did you?" Wait that ruins it. Unless there's some kind of potion for dick enlargement or something?

...there probably is now that he thinks about it but also he should really stop thinking about Scorpius Lake's dick right this fucking second.

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"Oh, no, I got it from my parents. But doesn't taking daily care of it with all the love and attention I do get me any points?"

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Jermaine lets out a thin, strangled noise from the back of his throat. His head seems to have found its way onto the table at some point in the middle of that interaction.

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... Okay Yvette can't help it, she's going to break down helplessly in giggles. She is a teenager, and she is weak to dick jokes.

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There's an obvious, obvious retort he should use here but unfortunately this has reached Alexei's limit for concentrated innuendo. "Make something new," is what he says instead.

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"For you? Anything."

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Okay that has crossed from flirty banter all the way into actual flirting and he has no idea how to deal with it other than blushing and eating his breakfast before he says something he'll regret with his girlfriend right there.

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His girlfriend seems fine, and is petting him soothingly. Pet pet. While still giggling.

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(So... they're.... all dating??? Or something???? Is that allowed??? This might explode in fire at some point, how is that a thing that can work???)

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Yeah let's change the subject and draw attention away from poor tomato Alexei. "So, Thomas, did you want to talk to me about something?"

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"...huh?" he asks, lifting his head up from the table again. "Me? Why?"

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"You had that look."

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"I did not have a—" Shit maybe he did. "...it's nothing important. It can wait."

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"If you say so." And to Liu: "Congratulations, by the way, to the three of you."

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"...huh? Oh. Um. Thanks?"

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"Thank you!" says Yvette, even though by percentage she's still around 40% giggle and has some trouble talking coherently. Look, she's very happy about being in an alliance with Liu, okay?? Liu is great and she's been so sad and they can help her stop being a maleficer and and and. They might die on graduation, but she doesn't think she'll bring herself to regret any of these choices.

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Everyone else congratulates them, too, once they understand what they're congratulating them for.

All in all, everyone at the table did act human and normal for once, like real people who can have real relationships and laugh at dirty banter and not like they're trying to one-up each other or get an advantage all the time. It's nice.

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It... is, yeah. Chloe likes it, too. New York's table is... sort of like this, but not quite.

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Jermaine does pull Scorpius aside before class, though.

"So, uh."

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"...yeah?"

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