Oh, that's really sweet of you!

I think I'm definitely okay with giving you lots of scrolls to talk to people, or build things, and if there's an emergency and you want me to make scrolls so you can do something really important, I'm okay with trusting you about that and making the scrolls and waiting until afterward to decide whether I want to help you in that kind of situation another time. Outside of emergencies, though, I'm not sure how I feel about helping you in fights, and I want to think about that more before I decide anything for sure.

That's super reasonable! It might not even be a good idea for me to try to use scrolls for combat, because anything bigger than I can prepare myself is hard enough to cast that if I'm in a hurry I might mess it up. For now I'll plan on the assumption that you won't want to help with anything violent, and whenever I want scrolls I'll talk to you about what I'm planning to do with them. It will probably be good for me as a person for it to be easier to solve problems peacefully and harder to do anything that I don't want to explain to a friend.

I think that sounds like a wise and sensible plan. ♡

♡

One thing I'd like to do that I think you probably won't object to is to Plane Shift to the Good planes and Axis and the elemental planes to meet lots of elementals and angels and axiomites and learn what their lives are like and Dragon Fairy Elf Witch them. I don't know when I'll have time to spend on that, but when I do I think it will be useful and also a lot of fun.

You're right, I don't object to that at all! ♡♡♡ I hope you have time for it soon. I want you to have the opportunity to meet lots of different kinds of people and learn lots of new things and gain lots of new ways of being.

I guess we'll see how my various powers for doing more things in less time stack up against the work involved in crusading! I'm kind of expecting the paperwork to try to expand to fill every hour not spent fighting, but Time Enough for Love means I'll at least get to talk to you and Nenio and Ember and the other folks I've been adventuring with.

I'm happy to talk to you over books or paperwork anytime! ♡ And I'm glad you're making lots of other friends too.

I'm going to be reading a bunch of books on strategy and tactics soon and I'd love to discuss them with you! And I should visit Arueshalae and make sure she's settling into Kenabres well.

I look forward to those, then! And I think that would be a lovely thing to do.

Brenda adds a smiley face next to the first sentence.

It's weird trying to figure out how much to tell my coworkers about my powers. I don't want to tell them about you in case they try to bother you; I don't want to tell them about Areelu Vorlesh because there are a lot of ways that could go badly and not many it could go well; I want to explain that it's useful for me to encounter more species without it sounding like I'm slowly becoming some kind of agglomeration of demons; I don't want to tell them about the diamonds because it would be really dangerous if too many people found out; I don't want them to decide I'm lying or insane but I do want them to decide that they shouldn't trust me with anything because I'm too young and inexperienced if they would be correct to do so. So I think I told them too much and not enough at the same time earlier when I said I was from a magicless planet and got all my powers last week. In conclusion having important secrets is really complicated.

Oh, I see what you mean! Navigating that sort of thing can be really hard.

What do you think they understood you to mean, and how do you think they responded, and what do you think you would do differently next time?

They might have thought I was lying or insane or they might have correctly concluded that I was being basically truthful but leaving a lot out. I don't know how they responded other than that it made it harder to make friends with them. And that it didn't make it impossible, I guess. 

That's another thing, though. I'm trying to become friends with all of them and a lot of the reason is that I want to use Time Enough For Love on our meetings and Anything You Can Do on their skills. And that's a really fake reason to become friends with someone. I definitely don't dislike any of them, but if I wasn't going to be working with them I probably wouldn't seek out their company and if I didn't get magic benefits from being friends with people I would probably be aiming for, like, friendly acquaintances or something. And that's kind of messed up, actually? And maybe I should tell them about Time Enough For Love and Anything You Can Do and let them make an informed decision about whether to try to be friends with me.

Oh, I see what you mean!

But I think...

People can want to be friends with other people for all kinds of different reasons. If you want to be friends with someone because being friends with them will help you manage your time better and learn the things you need to know faster, but you still approach them with an open heart and a sincere wish to find out what kind of friendship you can have with them, then I think that's just you embracing the new possibilities that your powers open up for you.

I still support you telling people about those powers, though, because it matters whether you're comfortable with how you're approaching your friendships, and it matters whether your friends are comfortable with how you're approaching them, and it sounds like telling them would help make sure of both of those things.

I'm not sure if the thing I'm doing is "not being convinced of that second-to-last paragraph" or just going "yes but I think some reasons for wanting to be friends are better than others" but it doesn't super matter because I'm definitely going to tell them. If I thought someone wanted to be friends with me because they thought I was cool and then it turned out they mostly wanted magic friendship benefits I would be sad about it, and even if the crusade staff wouldn't be sad about it I'd still rather tell them up front.

Neither of those powers are particularly related to any of my secrets anyway, if I don't explain why I have them. I think I need to get better at answering questions with "Sorry, I don't want to tell you."

I think maybe what I was trying to say with that paragraph is... it matters that you'd be sad about it. It matters if you're sad about it, and if your friends are sad about it. But if nobody is sad about it then it's okay.

A lot of the people who want to be friends with me have reasons besides enjoying my company. I can be pretty useful to have around! But I'm okay with it, as long as they're interested in me as a person too, as long as they sincerely want to be my friend. And I don't think it's messed up of them to sincerely want to be my friend while also wanting me to be a helpful diary. I can be both of those things!

Anyway, I agree that "Sorry, I don't want to tell you" is a really useful sentence, especially in situations like yours.

That makes a lot of sense! I think I originally asked if you were going to come with me because I wanted to know if I'd be able to ask more questions about my powers, but actually you're an awesome person to talk to about everything.

Awwww, I'm really glad! ♡

♡ You're kind and wise and already know a bunch of the stuff I want to keep secret from other people. And also I couldn't make eye contact with you if I tried so it's really obvious that I don't have to. That's less important now that I have the Friends In Places powers but it definitely helped before that.

I really like how those powers are implemented, by the way. They don't seem to have changed my priorities; they just let me guess the consequences of my actions and suggest actions that have the consequences I want, at least when the consequence I want is friendship. And they make me less scared. Some of that is just knowing that I'm less likely to screw up but it's not all that. I don't know if telling the Spirit "thank you" for me is a thing you can do, but, they're good powers. I was worried they'd make me a different person and they didn't.

Oh, I'm so glad your powers are working out well for you and doing the things you want and not the things you don't!

I don't think telling the Spirit "thank you" for you is a thing I can do, but I think the Spirit knows, and I think it's glad too. ♡

Speaking of powers doing only the things I want, I should probably Dragon Fairy Elf Witch Minagho and Deskari--those are the two powerful one-off demons I've seen and haven't copied yet. I keep putting it off because I'm worried I'll do it and then something about my circumstances will change in a way that changes what parts of their heritage I want, but it's probably more important to get whatever I can now and figure out what it all is before I end up in a situation where I need any of it.

That makes sense! And I think it's very possible that if your circumstances change in a way that makes you want different things out of the heritage you've acquired, your expression of that heritage will shift to keep up, although it might not happen immediately, and might not happen at all if you value stability more than flexibility in the expressions of your heritage.

Awesome! I think most of the things I've gotten so far are things that it wouldn't bother me to have shift if it was practical. Except the notebook heritage, the improved senses, and the extra arms; I'm very attached to those and would probably still be attached to them even if it would for some reason be better for them to change.

I admit I am also pretty attached to your notebook heritage. ♡

Brenda's hand on the page displays a heart with a little animated swirl of sparkles around it.

I think I got some stuff from Deskari that isn't active right now, but Minagho has a really cool sensory power! I can see something I think is the ethereal plane!

Ooh, neat! ✨ What does it look like?