"She's gone.

I'll do it. It's not fair to make you do it too, after everything that happened today."

"People didn't die in Gale Rocks. Except for the boat bandits who tried to steal a boat and one of them died fighting. And some people went back to Kelos to be jailors for the war and died. And sometimes there are things that the doctors can't fix. People didn't get executed in Gale Rocks. Is Lin really okay? She didn't die when they took her away and now it's secret?"

"People didn't die? Kaleids can get strong enough to keep people from dying? Oh no, kiddo, I'm so sorry, you must have been even more scared than I realized."

For a minute, Siki freezes with the glazed expression of doing something complicated with his cursor.

"...Lin is okay. If you want, we can visit her. She's asleep now. The doctor says she would be a lot more comfortable if you could heal the burns in her mouth. And they can talk to you about how eyes work."

"Yeah, I'm scared... Green doctors are really really good. People said that, umm, that the country Gale Rocks is in has some of the best doctors. I can't help Lin until tomorrow or maybe in a few hours. I'm pretty sure I can do it. It's things like eyes and inside parts that are hard. I don't want to leave this house though."

"...If I don't have to, I don't want to do it."

"...they can bring her here. Later.

Hey mom, I can do it too!"

"No."

"It's Nico's decision."

"...Mm. It would be bad for you more than it will be bad for me.

Don't worry, kiddo. I'll make sure it's done right."

Nico kind of wants to say he'll do it after all, so Calsa or Siki don't have to, either. Really, the Magistrate ought to do it. He's pretty sure this whole thing is her fault... Somehow. Okay, maybe not.

He wants to go find a doctor right away. Or go to the drakehouse and ask Tanno if he has a book about eyes. Or go talk to Lin and make sure she's definitely okay. He should be doing things. Nothing gets better unless you do things about it.

...Instead, he ends up just hugging Calsa more and eventually falling asleep.

Calsa must have put him down while he was asleep. When he wakes up he has to feel very carefully along the floor to get out of the cuddlebed. And then try to remember where the chamberpot is, and feel carefully along the edge of Lin's pool (it reminds him about what happened and he nearly cries again), and then carefully along the floor, feeling around for the pot. And then carefully moving the lid and standing in the right spot and worrying for a while if he's really in the right spot. Then all the way back, so slowly, and worrying every moment that something is secretly behind him and he can't hear it, or that someone's about to touch him and he doesn't know that.

Being blind is really very bad. Also, most of him still hurts kind of a lot but he's been hurt before, falling off things or getting hit by snare traps going off or being punished for not doing his chores. He's used to that part even if it was never this everywhere. He's never been blind before.

He hears Calsa moving around on his sloooooow scared careful way back, and considers just flopping back into the cuddlebed, but instead declares, "I want to go ask Tanno if he has a book about eyes. I know I can't read it but I will ask him to."

"Hello, Nico." Larian greets him in the same bored tone she always does. "Number fourteen-twenty-two died just like you thought it would. There was just no saving it, I think. We haven't had any other interesting ones today, but I looked at twelve-one's leaves carefully and I think one of its mutations is one we've seen before. It makes the stomatas open more often, so the plant breathes a lot more. But it doesn't actually need to breathe more, really, so this just dries it out faster. Not useful, I'm afraid. But it's staying alive as long as we spray the leaves often. And it is growing about twelve percent faster than average for gemberries so something else must be right."

"...Oh. That's interesting. Maybe breathing more is helping it after all."

Nico can hear Larian's casual shrug, the way her clothes rustle over her shell slightly. And he can feel where she is because she is always putting out air, even when away from the drakehouse. He doesn't quite smile but his scowl goes away for a moment.

"I want a book about eyes. I would like you or Tanno to read it to me, please."

"Understandable. I'm sure we can accommodate you."

"I'm really glad you're okay, Nico." Tanno calls from the top floor. "I heard all about what happened..."

"I don't wanna talk about it!"

"-Okay. We won't talk about it. I'll look for the best book now. Maybe there's more than one. It'll be a few minutes."

"How often do you need to make the leaves wet on those gemberries? Would high hum-idity help?"

Larian shoots Tanno an 'I told you so' look, which Nico does not notice.

Larian will definitely talk all about the experimental plants and possible biological implications with him while Tanno searches his miniature library.

He doesn't think to offer Calsa the poetry book again. He's tense and distracted. And then he's reading excerpts from a first-aid guide and a general biology textbook, not one specifically focused on medicine. He sounds pretty bummed out, though. Nowhere near as enthusiastic as usual.

"I can't even draw on the sand table anymore!" Nico complains in frustration at one point. "I'm not really scared I can't fix it, because I can fix it, but it makes me so mad." Sniff. "I'm sorry I'm crying again I'm sorry." Sniff sniff. "The Magistrate said that's a secret. It's a secret I can do more things than just light. She might be mad at you now I'm sorry."

"...Nico. Would you like a glass of water?"

He nods.

Larian pulls a cup out of her waist bag and tilts her head forward to fill it. She places it directly against his hand.

"Here. I will be right back."

She gives a side-eyed look at Calsa, then heads upstairs to have a whispered conversation with Tanno. The conversation includes him whispering several names repeatedly, eyes rolling at her near complete inability to remember them.

She comes back downstairs.

"I'd like to tell you something about secrets. Everybody has secrets. Calsa does, and you do, and I do, and Tanno does, and Lin and Siki and Merta do, and everyone you see every day does. It's impossible not to have secrets, because everyone needs privacy too. Little secrets or big ones... Anyway. My point is that I don't care if knowing you can fix eyes makes the Magistrate mad at me. I'm not mad you kept it a secret or that you told me now. I'm probably not going to tell anyone because I don't like talking to people very much. But I'm glad you told me, because it makes a lot of sense that you can do things like that, and now I understand you better. You're not just learning about eyes because you miss them. You're learning about eyes for a purpose. And that is actually very admirable."

"I don't think it is admirable. It's just what I want to do. I hate all this so so much. I hate it. I'm so scared."

"This is a stupid saying that yet remains true, that I was once told. True courage is not the absence of fear. It is being afraid, and acting anyway." Sigh. "For all that such aphorisms are repetitive and boring, people repeat them for reasons. It is abundantly clear to me that you are being very brave. I'm sorry, but if you think you're not, you're just wrong."

.....Nico impulsively walks over and hugs Larian.