She's so cute! She's so cute and wonderful and delightful and he still doesn't understand why she picked him but she loves him so and it feels so very good. He kisses her softly again, hoping for even more delight, and enjoys how happy she's being. 

Industrious Nestling Ensues.

Excellent! (She's so soft and loving and cozy.) He wraps his arms around her as she snuggles close, kissing her softly on occasion, and smiles. He's still not sure how this is all happening to him, but it's good that it is, and he's happy about it. 

He's so comfy that she might be a little bit in danger of falling asleep on him.

In her valiant struggle against the snoozles, she ends up turning a little pensive, nestling against him with less comfy bliss and more thoughtful consideration. Still overall content, just, thinking.

John notices something about her mood shift, she's gone from snuggling him with warmth and comfort to still being comfortable but... distracted, maybe? He's not sure. (Is something wrong? She seems fine, but maybe something is wrong? No, he's overly worried.) "Whatcha thinking about?" he asks, as nonchalantly as he can (really, he doesn't need to be worried). 

"I guess I'm thinking about... what it means to consent informedly to something. Like, when I was thinking about sending you my letter, I made lists of all the possible implications and consequences I could think of and triple-checked to be sure I wasn't leaving anything major off of it, and thought through what the odds were of various bad things happening and what I was risking and how I felt about that, and you have... not considered your decision here on that kind of level... but like most people don't consider most of their decisions on that kind of level, and they get through their lives just fine like that, so I guess I don't know... what kind of standard I should be holding you to, for how well you've thought about this? Because... it's really important to me not to force myself on you the way Himari did to Kaida. But you said you're okay with this, and I want to believe you, I just... don't know how to have a reasonable standard for believing you."

Hmmmmm. 

"I don't... think you're forcing yourself on me like Himari did with Kaida?" he says. "Like, I can say no. I could say no!" Right? "I could have said no earlier, and I did do some consideration about this before I said yes." Or did he? He mostly said he was going to and then... no, he doesn't want to think about that. (Should he, though?) He's here, he wants to go through with this! He doesn't want to back out now. He doesn't have any reason to back out now. "And now we're here. Worst case I can always release you? Or you can ask to be released. I'll release you if you ask to be released, promise." Even if he doesn't want to. It's the right thing to do. 

"I am really, really unlikely to ask you to release me. But I still appreciate the sentiment." Snug?

He squeezes her back. "I... know, but I still want to make sure the option is there. It would be... bad, if I didn't release you when you needed, or wasn't leaving the option for you. I don't want to be that kind of person." Even if thinking about being those people is sometimes hot, right now it's very much not. (Okay, maybe a little hot. But mostly not.) "Even if you don't want to take advantage of it..." and she doesn't, she's so into him and he loves it "it's important that it's there. That you know you can do it. Otherwise... it's just bad, you know?" 

"I see what you mean. I... appreciate that you care about me like that."

"Of course I do," he says, almost automatically. "It would be wrong to do otherwise." He squeezes her close. "But especially with you, I think? I don't... want you to lose who you are or anything. I like you being the way you are." 

"I'm glad!"

She kisses the end of his nose.

John grins at her adorable kiss (she's so cute!) and squeezes her in his arms, and relaxes back into being with her. Is Rosy doing the same? Or is she still thinking about... stuff. (Should he be thinking about stuff? He doesn't really want to be, but he will if he should be.) 

Definitely cozy but still maybe a little pensive.

(Damnit. Ugh, fine.) 

"Something else on your mind still?" he asks, after dithering for a bit on whether or not he should ask her and thinking about what he should even be thinking about before asking if anything. 

"Just still thinking. You don't have to worry about it."

(Doesn't he, though? Shouldn't he? It feels like he should be but... he can try not to be? He doesn't want to be worried, and if she says so...) 

"Okay, sure," he says, and goes back to being snuggled in her arms, doing his best not to think about anything. 

(But what is she thinking about, though? Does she think he's not ready for this and is going to change her mind at the last minute? Does she think she's not ready for it? What did he do wrong that made her have these things happening? That is, if his worries are real. But are they? She doesn't feel like she's second guessing anything maybe (how would he even know) but she could be?) 

No, no worrying. He should stop and be comfortable where he is and think of the fun things that are going to happen soon. (There are such fun things going to happen soon. As long as they do happen that is because if Rosy has changed her mind... fuck. Fuck.) He goes back to trying not to worry about it. 

"Turmoil, my love?"

(Aaaaaaaaah)

(How does she keep doing that??)

(Probably because his body language is being really obvious. Or something.) 

"I... don't know if what you're thinking about is something to worry about or not?" he tries. "I mean, I know you said I should trust you and said not to worry but I keep thinking about what you're thinking about and if it might, um, change things, um, about our plans," since he doesn't want to outright say what he's worried about there "and I am having trouble not worrying? I guess? I... can try harder. If you want." That does sound silly now that he's said it though. He'd never ask that of anyone else. Still, though, he should be able to stop worrying, right? 

"—sorry, I meant to be clearer—I'm still thinking about the same old thing with trying to figure out what a reasonable standard of consent is between 'oh it's probably fine if I show up naked in a box' and 'I need to go over your planning spreadsheets'. Since those both seem, uh, unreasonable, to opposite extremes."

John giggles a little at the mental image of both of them, but only a little because he's still a bit concerned about what she's thinking about. "Is there... something I should do that would help with that? At all?" he asks, trying to figure out how to dislodge whatever worries she might be having (and help him stop being worried that she might change her mind now, that too...). 

"Well... you could tell me what you think is a reasonable standard for you to say that you've thought about this and decided you want to do it?"

"I..." Well, what is a reasonable standard, then? "I... I guess..." He has to have done some thinking about this, right? But it was mostly about "I think I came up with a bunch of good safety measures?" he says, eventually. "Like, for making sure that you're not... like, stuck, or if the ritual doesn't work the way we expect, or... something. That's why I want to release you immediately and then also release you in like a week and stuff. That sort of thing. I feel like... those are reasonable things? I think?" This... doesn't quite feel like it's answering the question she's asking, though. 

"I mean, yeah, safety measures are also an important aspect of due diligence! But—that's about my safety, mostly, I think? What about yours?"

What? "My safety?" he's going to be the one in control. What does she mean, his safety? (Okay, there might be something but he's going to be in control. He can handle whatever.)