space Arda and Peka's world
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Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah they'll take the kids aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. He has a very small very contained very Elf mutiny to deal with; it consists of a hundred people turning in resignation letters which he declines to accept. 

 

 

He should interview the shunned people to get a sense of where they'll be best suited. In particular whether they are likely to attempt to commit those crimes again, some of those crimes are pretty serious.

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Some of the people whose kids were taken are SO UPSET.

The shunned people who decided to throw in with the Elves are pretty much doing the "I guess the Elves are in charge of us now" thing, they will agree to be interviewed.

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Presumably they understand that otherwise their kids would be dead? And now they are not dead now they are being shuttled to foster parents at top speed with very upset Elves singing to them and feeding them nonstop in the meantime aaaaahhhhhhhhhh. The parents can write the kids and get regular updates on how they're doing and maybe visit them soon soon soon once he fixes things -

He looks up the circumstances surrounding yellow murderer's murder and then invites him in to ask what he did  as a career before and what he'd like to do now.

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Somebody whose kid was stolen manages to emigrate to another country and demand that the Elves give her baby back now that she is in this other country. A trio of people who all seem to be co-responsible for the same baby do the same thing, inspired, but they want to go where the baby is going.

Yellow murderer strangled the guy who his wife was cheating on him with in a fit of rage. He was an actuary. This is, y'know, okay, it's a job.

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- yeah, fair enough. Okay. He'll put him in touch with some furniture-making opportunities in the Falas and he can do something else if he finds it suits him better.

Mother who wants her baby back gets her baby back. Trio of people co-responsible for baby get to go with baby. 

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The country that did not want parents reunited with their Excess Babies is not sure this meets the spirit of the agreement.

The other murderer ran over his neighbor with a carrot-uprooting machine because the lady wouldn't stop her goats from eating his crops.

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What's the problem with parents emigrating to some country with looser baby laws, how is that different than them emigrating while pregnant? Is it a concern that can be resolved with bribery? He has lots of that. 

 

- does the other murderer have a deficit in problem solving skills that aren't 'running people over with farming equipment'?

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He did try screaming at her first.

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Did he try, uh, discussion, fences, goat-repellent, involving local authorities, killing the goats -

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He had fences to begin with! Who ever heard of goat-repellent. He seems to prefer yelling to discussion. Local authorities didn't like him because he once got drunk and broke a lot of dishes in a diner. ...Twice. Four times. Tipsy. He has done this completely sober more than once and had to start wearing weird hats to get into the diner. He did try scaring off and/or killing the goats but those suckers are nimble.

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Maybe he will like orcs. Orcs seem like they could probably handle him and they're resurrectable. 

 

Rapist?

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He thought she was yellow, turned out she's just allergic to hair dye and has important blue family, his last three girlfriends didn't make such a fucking fuss about it.

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"In Endorë you should probably presume everyone has important family, do you want to go if you're not going to be able to rape people?"

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"That's such an ugly word, she was into me."

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"In Endorë, like in Glar, it is illegal to force people to have sex with you even if they're attracted to you, even if they've had sex with you under other circumstances, even if they said they'd have sex with you. Is that going to be a hard rule for you to follow?"

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"If you can't have sex with people even if they say you can where the fuck do you all come from?"

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"You can't force people to have sex with you. Do you need - like - a demonstration of the difference -"

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"Uh, I'm not into dudes, dude."

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"There's a married couple on board who I think would consent to demonstrate the difference if the problem here is that you don't know how to not force people to have sex. Elves do not engage in that bizarre local behavior and some will take offense if you suggest they do."

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"I don't wanna watch Elves fuck, either."

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"I want you to land with some basic comprehension of what is allowed and not allowed, some comprehension you're presently not demonstrating. Do you have any suggestions about how to achieve that."

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"Not really."

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"I guess I could just put you somewhere where everybody is a lot stronger than you." Sigh.

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"You're the boss, I just don't want to ever dumpster dive again, makes me feel like some kinda fucking red."

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"If you stop forcing people to have sex with you I am sure you'll never need to worry about it again."

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