"Wilbur. You’re not… You're taking this the wrong way, man. You’re not my enemy, you’re my healthy competition!"

"Well, you told me I couldn't come in--!"

"What kind of person would I be to tell you to leave my country? What kind of person would I be to not allow you in my premises? I wouldn’t be a good person, would I. And Wilbur, you are my friend. I would never do that to you. I’m very welcoming. Ranboo, Q, you two as well, come inside whenever you like. This is all healthy competition, alright?"

"You're a good man, Quackity. I'll give you that. We've got some burgers to flip, though, so we'll--head on out. --Q, Ranboo, let's go."

"Bye, guys!"

......wow, that probably was not invoking the specter of something incredibly personal that Q doesn't have the context to understand or anything. 

This conversation is going to be so fucking not fun. 

"Goodbye," he says to Quackity and Tubbo. 

Wilbur half-runs to the van. "Hoooooo boy!" He laughs to himself. It's a bit unclear whether this is all a positive or a negative until he continues: "This is good! This is exactly what I want! Did you see--dude, Q, Ranboo, he was trying to act like I didn't get to him! Did you see, that whole time, ohhhhh it's not MY horse--he named his burgers--" His voice goes high pitched and excited. "He cares! He cares so much!!!!" He spins a little before opening the door of the van. "What about you, how do you two feel about this?"

....so Wilbur has apparently either forgotten about the repairs to the restaurant or decided he believes Q about them. That's, uh, fine, except for how it might fall apart at any moment and he just has to keep fucking worrying about it. 

"—it seems probably good?" 

"I mean. It's--it's just burgers and everything, so I think that's okay?"

"What do you mean just burgers? I feel alive! Someone's looking at me and talking to me! I'm alive! I'm alive! This is great!"

"...should I be stopping by the arctic more?" he says. He's going for gentle, again, now. 

"Aw, no need to worry about little old me, I'm doing great." He's not being sarcastic or fishing for more; he's genuinely in a great mood. He laughs, spins around again, stretching his arms out so they brush the sides of the van when he does. "I'm grabbing life by the horns and fucking riding it, man. This is awesome."

...that's fine. Wilbur's not, in fact, his boyfriend. They're only sort of even friends. And he knows how to be fucking realistic. 

"That's great, man," he says, meeting the minimum quota for enthusiasm. (He's banking on Wilbur being too thoughtless to notice but that seems like a safe thing to bank on.) 

"You're not--the stuff Quackity said, that wasn't true, right? That was just him trying to bother me? It's--it's fine if it was, I want you to be honest with me."

Internal sigh. He's already picked his angle here.

"No, of course it wasn't fucking true. —honestly I'm still pissed at him for that, when he's claiming to be too busy or whatever then sure, whatever, I don't pretend to understand the things you two do for fun, but he can't just say shit about me and expect me not to say anything, what the fuck?" 

"Okay. Okay. I--I trust you, Q.

At the end of the day, going right now, we're--we're the good guys. Right? We haven't done anything wrong and Quackity, Quackity's done--a few things wrong. So I just wanted to say, like-- in the case of an emergency, right, when we are--head-to-head. You know? --Not head to head with each other, head to head with Tubbo and Quackity. And it's all, maybe shit's hitting the fan, you know? I need to know that we have a--backup plan. To-- save the innocent people in the city, y'know? Like-- like Tubbo and Fundy and-- I need a plan B."

...Okay! That's encouraging! He's a little bit suspicious of it but it's encouraging! If Wilbur can tell that this whole— thing— is escalating dangerously, that's really encouraging! 

"Right, that sounds like a good idea." 

Wilbur drops Q thirteen pieces of TNT. He's got a stack more, but he wants to see how Q reacts. "I want you to set that up somewhere in Las Nevadas."

"Wilbur, how is this a backup plan?" 

"The backup plan is that we only use it if we have to, you know? If things start getting out of hand and we have to do something. And I, I trust you, right?"

"Okay, but what are you imagining is going to happen where blowing up Las Nevadas would help? What do you think would make us have to?" 

"I'm not saying we would blow up all of Las Nevadas. I mean--we literally can't, even if we had more TNT we couldn't, it's not actually possible to, there's too much water.

Anyway, I'm just--letting you know. That's what I want you to do. That's your job, y'know, that's--part of working for me. You don't have to, but-- think of it this way, Q, in most cases, in 99% of cases, it won't even see the light of day. It's just like a--security blanket, to know that it's, it's an option. You said Quackity lied about you, right, and you're on my side, so I'm--I'm trusting you with this."

He's not going to be able to convince him, he knows he isn't, and— god, he doesn't want to find out what happens if he pushes Wilbur on whether or not Q is on his side, but he can't just not try—

"I— Wilbur, I really don't think explosives are a good security blanket." 

"It's just a plan B. For if something goes wrong. Look, Q, I'm not going to force you to place it. Although I'd, I'd appreciate it back, if you're not going to."

No. Absolutely not. "No, I'll, I'll place it. I just— wanted to say."