"Tubbo, are you... You’re aware that you’re, that we’re in competition now, right? Like, like, this is-- Tubbo, we've always been on the same side, man! We've always been together! Now we're gonna be head-to-head!"

"Yeah, but I mean, I don't look at it like that, you know? It's more just like healthy competition! Healthy competition's good for the consumer, it helps everyone!"

"Wilbur! You're taking this--a little too far, man!"

He is not literally batting his eyelashes while doing a fake-innocent face, but that's the vibes he's giving off.

"I'm not-- I am perfectly! happy! for Mister Tubbo."

(Man. Quackity thinks he's pathetic but he hasn't been this fucking obvious since he was twelve years old; try surviving ten goddamn minutes in Q's old job and see who's pathetic then, you asshole. Not that he's going to call attention to the fact that he's better at lying than Quackity is, uh, ever, but seriously man come the fuck on.) 

He's not saying that. He really shouldn't even be thinking that.

"We are--at the end of the day, we're all friends here." Quackity's voice is calm and reassuring; he's smiling.

Wilbur's yelling, suddenly. "Where'd you get the idea of naming your burgers from? Where did you get that?"

Quackity's voice is still calm, even. "Wilbur, listen, I, I told you this once, and I'm gonna tell it to you again, thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes. That at the end of the day, competition is what we need! That's how we thrive, Wilbur! We're healthy competition! You're gonna make your burgers better, I'm gonna make my restaurant better, with the help of--seriously, one of the greatest people I've met--"

"Aw, thank you, man!"

"Yeah, of course! So, Wilbur, don't take it the wrong way. Don't feel bad about it. This is gonna be good for us!"

"I'm not! Does it-- does it look like I'm taking it the wrong way. I am perfectly happy! I'm really happy for Tubbo! Tubbo, you were telling me yesterday how you felt like you lacked direction, you lacked purpose, now you have a goal! Bro! How could I be angry about that, man!"

"Yeah. It's. Good."

Wilbur is also really, really obvious, but in a way where Q mostly just feels kind of bad for him.

"Yeah. I'm really happy for you, Tubbo." It ends up sounding... not quite sincere but more worried than angry, which is good enough for government work. 

"I'm just, y'know, I was just. Wondering why you chose that over the burger van. But I get it, I get it! Y’know, Quackity, he's a hard man to refuse!"

Ah, yes, because you're so easy to refuse, Wilbur, and nobody could ever do things you don't like for actual reasons. He should probably be steering Wilbur away from this conversation but he's not sure what he can say that is more likely to make things better than it is to make them worse. 

"And Tubbo is just, y’know, he’s just--he’s just constantly looking for what's next, what's gonna happen now, y’know? Me and Tubbo, we think alike--very much alike, actually--I'm not sure if you remember this, you remember L'manburg? Tubbo was president, I was vice president, this is like L'manburg all over again! I mean, this is all a work in progress, but we're making--we're making big things happen. All I'm gonna say, Wilbur, is-- you know, we’re doing our own thing, you guys are doing your own thing, this is going to be a healthy competition."

"May the best burgers win!"

"There you go, there you go! I agree with that, yes!"

"Q, Ranboo, you agree, right? May the best burgers win!"

"Yep. May the best burgers win." 

"Ranboo?"

"...Yeah! Yeah. May the best... burgers... win. Yep."

"Wilburger versus Tubburger. Match made in--match--partners in--partners against crime. Well, we've gotta go. It was lovely, it was absolutely lovely hanging out with you, I am just thrilled that you liked everything. I wanted to-- what should we do next time we hang out?"

"I think we should--uh, yeah, let's set some time apart and let's--let's talk, you and me. And Wilbur, Ranboo, Q, you guys are always welcomed in the restaurant, in Las Nevadas--any time you like."

"Wait, I'm allowed in Las Nevadas?"