"I ran into Yamada the other day," says Subaru, failing to sound casual. Tōkan hasn't said anything about it so Subaru assumes that Yamada must not have told him for one reason or another.
Tōkan lifts both eyebrows. "'Ran into', huh?"
"...fine, I went to look for him to talk to him."
"Interesting."
"He didn't tell you?"
"Hasn't come up."
"Hmm."
"What'd you talk about?"
"I... tried to start over with him. Be less shitty."
"And it was a pain in the ass because Inori kept being an asshole to you for most of the time."
"...yeah. But... I think I deserved it, at least a little bit."
"Oh?"
"You're mad. All the time. And sad. And upset. And hurt."
"Huh?"
"About, about being an alpha. About alphas existing, about people like Hōji and Karato, about people like those eight kids who tried to ambush you."
"Ah. Yeah. I am."
"And about your shitstain of a father—why are you laughing?"
He shakes his head and leans forward to prop his face up on his hands. "Inori used the same word to describe him, a while ago."
"...I guess the opinion is universal."
"I wish. But no, he's a handsome, productive, rich, successful alpha who manages far more money than I would ever know what to do with. Everyone—every alpha—wants to be him. Or be with him. Or fight him. Or all of those."
"...yeah."
"And kids here hero-worship him, and idolise him, and meanwhile here I am, his unruly kid, ungrateful heir. If I weren't good in bed they'd all hate me."
Subaru blushes and looks away. "I'm pretty sure it's not just that."
"No, but it made you blush, and it was worth it."
"Asshole."
"I've been told."
"Anyway. My point is that I, I'm not. I wasn't. I don't know if I am. Mad like you, I mean. Yamada is one of only a handful of omegas I've talked to since I was little, and I know very few betas, too. It's so easy to, to rationalise. To side with your friends. And being in rut is still a legal defence, and if the omega claims they weren't in heat who's gonna believe them? And maybe they weren't but then the alpha can just claim they smelled someone else's pheromones and tried to hold back but lost control."
"They do that for beta rape cases, too," Tōkan adds.
"Huh?"
"If an alpha rapes a beta, they'll claim they got in rut earlier and lost control. It's almost literally a get-out-of-jail-free card." He looks up at Subaru, more seriously. "This world is fucked up. 'Course I'm mad about it all the time. I still have to see Karato's fucking face every other day in algebra and pretend that I don't want to punch it in. The history teacher's revisionistic bullshit gets on my nerves every time, I will someday lose control and stab the P.E. teacher, I will someday lose control and reduce Hakeru-san to pulp when she calls me to her office to tell me I need to portray a better image because I'm bad PR."
"She does what? I thought it was about your grades!"
"Oh, it is. But not just my grades. She always has more stuff to say, as if it were her job to protect my father's image. Fuck that." He shakes his head. "Anyway, yes, I'm mad about it."
"And I... want to be. Mad about it. Like you. I want to, to get it, to understand how much all of this sucks, on a, a gut level. To get rid of this bullshit programming this school and my family keeps writing in my brain, to not have all the excuses ready-made and then have everyone around me agree with them."
"They'll still think it," Tōkan says, leaning back. "For as long as you're in an alpha school, anyway. And it'll make you stand out, make you another thorn in everyone's side. And you're not popular enough that you can afford it, or so you think; you're gonna get shunned, your friends will leave you, you'll get bullied again. Being Kokonoe's best friend won't help. Right?"
"..."
"And I can't sweeten the deal for you, that might actually happen! Although I don't think it will, the school has many decent people in it, and the fact that I've already had all of those fights myself means that it's no longer really new, and if anyone would agree with Kokonoe, well, it would be Kageyama, right? But that might still happen. And... and I knew it could, when I realised how much every alpha around me sucked and how I wasn't going to just let them suck. Maybe I didn't quite know the scale of it, but I back all of my choices, here. If the price had been being alone then... I'd have been alone. Better alone than surrounded by unrepentant rapists."
"...Yamada said the same thing."
Tōkan smiles. "'Course he did. He's a smart boy. Anyway, what did you two talk about?"
"Oh, I... actually think I shouldn't tell you? Oh for the love of—stop doing the mindreading thing. Respect your boyfriend's privacy."
"Sorry, can't really help it. But I'll try not to draw too many conclusions. And, Subaru? Thanks."