"Okay we've met, was that all?"

Subaru scoffs.

Tōkan laughs and shakes his head.

"Sorry, let me... Subaru, you know what could work here? Is if you two had a fight."

    "—what? I'm not going to get down to the level of this simpleton."

"And who the fuck are you calling a simpleton, you dickhead alpha?"

"Someone who wasn't a simpleton wouldn't need me to explain it, now, would they?"

    "You wanna take this outside?"

"I literally just said I'm not getting down to your level, but I guess it's too much to expect of a low-life omega to be possessed of simple skills like 'remembering the last sentence'. Was this sentence too long, by the way? I can try shorter ones. You dumb. You bad for Tōkan."

    "You know shit about me and Tōkan and you better keep your mouth shut or I'll shut it for you."

Sigh. "Clearly you're incapable of any kinds of more sophisticated conflict resolution than using your fists."

(This is working better than he'd expected honestly.)

The waiter comes over, looking a little bit wary of the two teenagers exchanging insults, but Tōkan says, "A double strawberry milkshake for me and him, please," pointing at Inori with his head.

    "I'll have a lime ice tea, thank you," says Subaru, shifting gears completely from venomous to perfectly polite.

    But then he looks back at Inori. "And of course you have no idea how to even get someone for yourself without cheating with your pheromones."

"You're so pathetic."

    "Excuse me?"

"Everything for you is just alpha this omega that..."

    "You were the one who called me a dickhead alpha!"

"That's just an insult, it doesn't count."

    "Keep telling yourself that."

"I will, 'cause insults or no at least I don't get jealous of someone just because of their sex."

"Your brain may be too small for you to understand how likely it is that Tōkan will abandon you for someone else once he gets bored of sweet omega ass."

    "If he gets tired of me then yeah he should leave me, why would I want to tie him down if I make him unhappy?"

Subaru... doesn't really have an answer to that.

    "Pathetic, like I said. Stop getting so hung up on gender bullshit, it's like you haven't met him, he's going to fuck anything with a hole."

"Hey!"

    "He's not wrong, you know," says Subaru.

"Yeah but he doesn't need to say it in public."

"Oh please, as if you weren't like a peacock about it, it's like your whole identity is tied up on being a hexsexual hoe."

    Subaru laughts despite himself then clamps a hand on his lips and glares at Inori.

"Some of my identity is also tied up on getting my boyfriend and my best friend to get along by making them fight and then nudging them in the right directions."

    "Boyfriend?"

"He didn't tell you? How's that for a best friend then?"

    "Tōkan you cannot be serious."

"I am."

    Subaru's face crumples. "Wh-why? What does he have that I don't? It's just because he's an omega, isn't it, I just can't even compete. If your mum—"

"Shut the fuck up you asshole! That's what I mean, everything is alphas and omegas for you, he's not allowed to just be himself and I can't just be myself, he has to be with me because I'm an omega, no other reason. Really? You claim to have been his best friend for ten years and you think that little of him?"

    "...I—"

"Look at yourself in the mirror a little bit, bitch. Do you have any personality whatsoever other than just being a shitty alpha? Can you find it? I'll wait."

    "I—I—"

"Maybe if you stopped making everything about gender you'd have a better chance. Or maybe not! People don't owe you being with you just because you're 'in love' with them! People are just people!"

    Subaru turns a pathetic little face at Tōkan. "Is—that how you feel? Do—do you think I have no personality, do I just, just make everything about gender?"

"Oh, Subaru..."

Okay this is maybe not going exactly as planned but it's still not entirely derailed, it can be salvaged. He'll trust in his boyfriend.

"What does it matter how he feels about that? Do you want to make your personality about him rather than gender, then? Get your own!"

    "I do have a personality!"

"News to me! Everything you've said so far has been about gender or class or social status or stupid insults, you haven't said anything about me or about you even once! You have no idea who I am! I'm just a bitchy angry violent omega in your head and you haven't spent a single minute trying to figure out what your supposed best friend sees in me because you're too busy trying to make it all about this weird story in your head about the place for omegas and alphas and rich people and poor people and whatever the fuck else! I'm not even poor you're just a little spoiled coddled baby who thinks anyone whose family doesn't own a yacht must be begging for food!"

...wow. Holy shit. Tōkan was not expecting that... many words. Maybe he should've, that kind of is Inori's special interest (anyone who says this omega isn't autistic is delusional). That and martial arts.

Still, this seems... promising? It seems promising. He'll look a little bit regretful and contrite now while Subaru gets all meek and quiet and Inori sulks while playing on his phone until their drinks arrive.

Which they do after a few minutes of glacial silence. Tōkan and Inori's milkshake comes with two straws and Subaru does a double take when Inori lowers his mask before being back to his sad self and starts drinking his iced tea.

The icy silence extends until they are done with their drinks, at which point Subaru says, without lifting his gaze, "I apologise, Yamada."

Inori looks at him suspiciously. "Why?"

    "You're... right. I was making... assumptions... and it was petty and immature."

"Well I don't give a shit. People apologising pisses me off, and if you want an apology from me you'll be waiting here forever." Subaru finally looks up at him in shock, as if he hadn't expected that social script to get broken today. "What? Just fucking do better if you care so much. Or don't. No skin off my back. You talk too much."

    Subaru goes quiet again for a few minutes then stands up and says, "I'd better go. I'm... sorry, Tōkan. I'll catch up with you later." And he flees before anyone can say anything.

"Hmm. Seven out of ten, has room for improvement but overall a success."

Inori peers at his boyfriend. "I don't understand you."

"It's more about understanding him. But I think you'd get really angry right now if I went into detail about Subaru's psychology."

"Yeah." He scans the QR code attached to the table and goes through various items in the menu. "I want a triple bacon burger with extra mayo and cheese and large fries and onion rings."

"Your wish is my command, my prince."