"And I have to, to pass some kind of test! Just so that I can have a fucking normal life! And you won't tell me the rules and, and, and it's so stupid, they're just hormones."

"...Inori-kun. Do you like having sex with me?"

He pulls back to stare at Tōkan. "Fuck kinda question is that? Of course I do."

"And is it just hormones then? Does it just feel like getting off, getting rid of some annoying physical need like, like sleep or something. Something you gotta do but it's not really anything special."

"..."

"'Cause it's not, for me. It's... more special than that. Not just the sex, the, the being there for you. Being close to you, holding you, being what you need, being yours. Having your trust."

"...what's your point? You're talking too much again."

"Do you wish we'd never met?"

"Stop asking stupid questions! You know the answer!"

"Yeah. So. This thing—this thing is good, it's special, it's unique. And if we get paired it'll be stronger. And I—I want to be more sure. Love we've only been together a few months. Think how many relationships end after five years together!"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Our relationship could end in five years!"

"It won't."

"It could! It's a whole commitment! So if, if we're gonna do this, I want to be very very sure that I'm not robbing you of the opportunity to have this with someone you'll actually work with, if it's not me."

"There's never been anyone!" He grits his teeth and tries to find his words. "I'm not gonna find anyone else. All alphas are shitty, I don't even know how you happened but, but no one else is gonna happen like that. To me."

"You could always be with a beta... Or even another omega."

"I don't want to!"

"Are you strictly alphasexual, then?"

"Why aren't you listening! I'm not sexual! Not with anyone! Just you!!"

"Well, and I'm a slut, maybe I'll—" But he can't actually say it. The thought of not wanting Inori is just unthinkable.

"I don't trust myself," he says, in a much lower voice, turning his gaze down to the table. "I might hurt you. I might push you away. I might mess up. I don't, don't deserve you. Not really. So, I—I want to know that you want me anyway, despite all that. Okay?"

He almost starts shouting again, that he keeps SAYING that he wants Tōkan, why doesn't he want to LISTEN, but something clicks in his head with that description and he starts cooling back down. He tries... imagining what he'd have felt like, before Tōkan, if someone told him he could mostly get rid of his heats but then he'd have extra strong ones around this one alpha he doesn't like. And he can't think how he could stop liking Tōkan—although this evening sure is an argument in a certain direction huh.

"...okay," he says, quietly. Then he leans towards Tōkan again and starts rubbing his head against Tōkan's shoulder like a cat while he gets his cutlery and starts eating.

Tōkan lets out a relieved breath. He's not sure Inori gets it, but he definitely got something. So, progress? Progress.

He lifts one hand to pet Inori with and gets to figuring out how to eat with just the other hand.