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Meng Yao is sleep-deprived enough from his new baby that when the cry wakes him up he's halfway through the first verse of Northeastern Cradle Song before he goes from "why can't I find his bottle?" to "because I am standing on a street corner and not in my house."
my and lxc in the lyingverse
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the-show-must-go-on
"Kansas City, Missouri. We need one for myself, my husband, and our son."
"Okay, I'll have her get right on that. Do you need anything else?"
the-show-must-go-on
"Nope!" The government can figure out how to pay everyone back later probably.
"Okay! It's an honor to meet you!"
until-my-dying-day
He calls a taxi while Meng Yao bounces Meng Xuanyu.
When the taxi driver arrives, Lan Xichen says, "My husband and I are both incredibly good-looking and we were wondering if you would be willing to accept some kind of sexual favors as payment instead of money."
"I'm straight," says the taxi driver, though he doesn't seem particularly offended. "And trying to save up for my kid to go to college."
until-my-dying-day
"All right. We don't have any money but we're working with the government on something that is not currently public knowledge and we expect that the government will be able to track everyone who helps us down and pay them back."
"Okay, but if you're not going to pay me today I want extra. I think I can probably get fifty percent extra because the government seems really careless about budgeting."
"Cool." And off they go to the airport.
"I think it's probably technically illegal to drive a baby around without a carseat but I expect you don't have any options that involve a carseat and I really want the fare," the driver says conversationally.
until-my-dying-day
"We want to minimize how many people the government has to track down and pay. Please drive safely."
The driver does in fact stop the car very abruptly! "There's a baby in a tree? Where??"
until-my-dying-day
"Don't worry, we've already talked to someone about the baby in the tree and it's being fixed. The baby's all right."
"Oh good." On they drive.
the-show-must-go-on
Meng Yao is bracing himself for how they handle airport security.
...Or for that matter, airport food.
The way they handle airport security is that you have to say that you do not plan to do any violence on the plane. That's it, that's the whole thing. No metal detectors, no baggage searches, no patdowns. That girl over there is apparently flying in full cosplay with a real sword.
Airport food is as expected in content but they do have signs up saying "this is more expensive than normal McDonald's food because it's more convenient not to have to go very far from your gate for it!" and "QuickDonut - just drop your cash in the jar and let us know on the way out that you've paid" for a self-serve donut display with one guy reading a newspaper who is barely nodding at all the affirmations that people paid.
