"Maybe we can buy a new one?"

"With what money? Your card was declined."

"Which is ridiculous, I'm going to call my accountant--"

It is so sexy of him to have an accountant.

"Excuse me, sir?" he says to the clerk. "I'm really sorry to ask, but by any chance could you call us an Uber? Our phones don't have any signal, and our cards were declined so we can't buy a new one. I promise you we'll pay you back in the morning-- you can look up my husband online, he works at Georgetown--"

"Your husband is really hot but I wasn't planning to Google him," says the clerk. "I don't know what an Uber is but if you give me the number I guess I can call them."

This person is super baked. Which is fair, because Meng Yao had also been super baked when he was working a night shift at a minimum-wage job. 

"Can you call a taxi?"

"Yeah, okay." He calls a taxi. This consists of dialing a number on the store's landline and then saying, "Hi, I decided to call these random customers a taxi 'cause it's not super busy and they're really hot. Their card was declined but they have some cash. They didn't say where they wanted to go except that one of them works in Georgetown. I don't know where that is. Wow, that far? Yeah, I don't think they can afford to go all the way to Georgetown. Cool." He hangs up. "Five minutes," he tells them.

Go with God, extremely baked Mick's employee!

He slings the baby and sings Hush Little Baby.

"What's a baby gonna do with a diamond ring?" the extremely baked Mick's employee inquires.

"Suck on it, presumably."

"That sounds dangerous. Might swallow it. I guess not as dangerous as a looking glass but you won't have to cough that one up. Lotta ifs in that song. Visionary."

"He's cute," Xichen says quietly in Meng Yao's ear.

"Slut," Meng Yao says with tired affection. He gives Meng Xuanyu a finger to suck on.

Daddy's chest is better than a crib. He sleeps.

"We don't sell mockingbirds," the clerk informs them regretfully. "I'm not even sure you can get one in a pet store. Maybe a specialty pet store. Oh, there's the taxi."

Taxi!

Meng Yao is handling baby so it is Lan Xichen's job to do awkward social interactions.

"How much to go to the nearest hotel?"

"Actually I don't know where the nearest hotel is from here and when people ask me to drive them to a hotel I always go to the Marriott. The meter'll say whatever it says, I'm not good at math."

"The Marriott is fine."

He is going to fall asleep in the car.

They are deposited at the Marriott. The meter says ten dollars and seventy-five cents.

He pays cash with a reasonable tip.

Into the Marriott!

"He's a good tipper," calls the taxi driver to a bellhop.

The bellhop scurries up. "How can I help you?" he smiles. "I'm hoping for ten bucks but I'll be much more innovative about helping if it's twenty or thirty."

"We can do thirty if you get us a hotel room with a bed and a crib as quickly as possible."